Let Me Worship You
by obsidians
Summary: Tifa's home repair put her and Reno in and compromising position that she takes advantage of. But things are never what they seem. I wish to add a belated thank you to Kalta79 for help with some story points and chapter ideas.
1. Chapter 1

"Darn it" Tifa swore as she got out Cloud's plumbing tools and glared at the leaking pipe under the sink in the bar. She couldn't afford a plumber with the tuition fee for Denzel's private school due and Cloud's wire transfer for his support, wired from Goddess knows where, hadn't come in yet. She knew that the local public schools were good but wanted to give Denzel every advantage in life, so she tightened her belt and paid the fee twice a year.

She knew basic plumbing from watching Cloud do it so many times, they both worked hard to keep the aging building functioning. She tied her hair back securely with a scarf into a tight ponytail and got out the huge wrench and attempted to tighten it, growled in frustration. She swore in an unladylike way as Reno came in for lunch.

"Tifa?" He asked when he heard her but was unable to see her.

"Down here" a voice called and he leaned over the bar to find her kneeling on the floor before her sink and using a wrench on a stubborn looking pipe.

"What are you doing?" He asked her.

"I'm trying to tighten this pipe so it doesn't leak" she said as the thin muscles of her arms bulged at the effort.

"I think you're trying to twist it the wrong way. Here, let me" he said getting down beside her and reaching for it, when the pipe opened and became unanchored and water drenched them both. Tifa reared back from the stream while Reno reached down and turned off the mini water valve, halting the flow. Tifa blushed as her white shirt was drenched and showed off her lack of a bra beneath her white shirt and she crossed her arms over her chest and Reno looked back at her. His spiky hair was matted to his head. His own jacket and white shirt were drenched and he burst out laughing and she joined him.

"Come upstairs with me. I'll get you a towel and some dry clothes" she said.

"My pants are fine. If I could just borrow a shirt" he said. "I'll return it, I'm done work for the day" he explained.

"Of course," she said, giving him a towel and changed out of her soaked shirt and put on a baggy t-shirt over her damp skin while he used her washroom to take care of his soaked hair.

He returned topless and must have borrowed some of Cloud's hair gel as his still damp hair had been returned to its former spiky state.

"Now if I could just get that top" he suggested as her eyes seemed to unfocus and her pouty pink lips parted as if in surprise as she looked at him. She held a shirt she had been planning to give him and that fell from her nerveless hand.

She was surprised at how muscular he was without his shirt on, he didn't have the bulging muscles of Cloud. Reno was more streamlined and they were more sublet but what he had was impressive as she traced with her eyes: his wide shoulders, to the pectoral muscles of his impressive chest and followed them to his Adonis belt that embraced the rippling six packs at his slim waist. In his baggy uniform, he looked simply skinny, even if his male cleavage of his unbuttoned shirt hinted at more. Tifa could feel her mouth go dry to be in the presence of a sexually desirable male. Cloud wasn't interested in her sexually and had made that abundantly clear to her. She was shocked by her wanting Reno but felt compelled to touch him, to hold him, to have him.

She stepped forward before she realized she had and Reno was forced to wonder why she was staring at him like that. She was suddenly right before him and he jumped slightly one of her hands painless removed the goggles from his head and dragged the hair tie from his ponytail, releasing the heavy red fall of it and placed both familiarly on the nightstand beside them.

Tifa needed to see him in his natural state, hungered to touch him. She ran her hand along the sharp curve of one of his cheekbones and through the length of his heavy hair, marveling at how thick and soft it was and rested her hand on the warm flesh of the small of his back. "So beautiful" she breathed.

"What?" Reno said, startled at her strange behaviour as she'd always seemed indifferent to his looks. As far as Reno knew,Tifa regarded men as: there was Cloud and then there was every other man in the world she had no interest in.

He shivered slightly as the damp front of her hair brushed against his exposed flesh, leaving goose bumps on his skin as her hand remained on his back and her unbound breasts nestled against him beneath her t-shirt as she leaned on him. She looked up at him and her lust softened eyes were positively languid as they examined his face.

"I need to touch you, to taste you. Please let me" she requested and he acquiesced with a single dumb nod as he swallowed hard, wondering at the change in her and how far she was willing to go.

Her other hand slid up to cradle the back of his head as delicately as one would a fragile egg and drew him forward so that their faces were inches apart and their warm breaths mingled. Her kiss began with her lightly nibbling his bottom lip, drawing him in and enticing him as his lips covered hers and her lips curled beneath his. He memorized the natural pout of her full lips as they moved beneath his and she parted his lips with her tongue to dance with his as her arms snaked around him. She felt drunk on the sensation as her hand slid lower to cup the cheek of one of his buttocks and he hissed at her bold touch as she gave it an appreciative squeeze.

She broke of their kiss as they panted for breath and he shivered as her lips began to nuzzle and nip his neck until his nerve endings seemed to dance under her stimulation. His hands raised the hem of her rather baggy t-shirt to explore the soft flesh of her back, exploring the sweet curve of her waist and cup one full buttock as well. She made a noise deep in her throat at this.

She wasn't done her teasing as she moved down his chest, nibbling and caressing every inch of it until he was groaning at her gentle, yet erotic touches. Her mouth finally pressed small kisses to his firm, rippling stomach and she encircled his navel with her tongue, before she knelt before him as if in prayer. "Keep still" she said, beaming a seductive smile he could never imagine her capable of.

Another dumb nod agreed and he shivered as she undid and reached into his black boxer briefs and removed his hard length and he groaned at the feeling of cool air on it as it bobbed between them and then groaned even harder as her warm breath curled teasingly against it and her warm oral cavity engulfed as much of him as she could.

His own pale hand now cradled the crown of her hand in encouragement as her lips caressed his length with each suckle as she bobbed on his member until he was groaning with pleasure. Her hands pushed his pants and underwear down and he groaned as her nails ran seductively along his sensitive inner thighs and soft fingers played with his clenching testicles. His eyes were clenched in arousal and his features tightened with the need to release. It had been a while for him, he'd been so busy lately and unable to get the sweet relief of a woman's soft body. Too busy to even open his black book. With the once proud unit that was the Turks were dwindled to only four members, there was more demand then members to satisfy all their client's needs.

He could feel his testicles burning to release into Tifa and pulled her to her feet and she looked startled at this. "I want to share it with you" he explained. Now it was time for Tifa to dumbly nod as she looked up at him. She felt overwhelmed that he wanted to join with her, to cum inside her.

He pulled her t-shirt over her head. He had pictured her breasts in his head and his musings had proven accurate, they were full and lush with tight, rose-tipped peaks, they were perfect. He traced the line of her firm belly, running his fingers gently along her rib cage and up to capture their heavy weight, teasing and toying with her puckered nipples until she was softly moaning.

"Lie down" she panted, obviously needing to control their time together.

He lay down on her bed and allowed her to remove his pants, underwear and socks as her bare breasts swayed with her movements and turned that worshipful gaze on him again as if he were a beautiful work of art as she undid and stepped out of her skirt. Leaving herself wearing just a white thong.

Reno was a study of lithe, angular limbs as he lay on her bed. His hair was sprawled beneath him and he looked like a dangerous, majestic jungle animal at rest. The shadows of the leaves outside her window painted false tattoos on his pale skin as her eyes caressed his exposure. He wasn't unblemished, he wore scars on his skin that no doubt came from his dangerous job and his hands had callouses when he'd caressed her. The soft light of the sun made his unbound hair made it glint like flames and the contrast between his paleness and fire of his hair was a visual that was impossible to resist. She was literally a moth drawn to flame.

Her hips swayed slightly as she walked to him and he leaned up. His hands hooked into the bands at her waist and pushed her thong from her until it fell off the rest of the way as he leaned over and lapped at her heated core and she cried out and her legs would have given away if he hadn't drawn her onto the bed with him.

She positioned herself so she lay on top of him while they kissed, she was slightly nervous at the idea of being with another man, yet it felt natural at the same time to feel the long length of his body against hers. His muscular body felt like silk wrapped steel and yet his warm skin was soft as she ran her hands greedily over any area she could reach on him. She was on fire for him and he would probably burn her in the end, but she didn't care.

His eyes were full of arousal as she gazed down at him as she positioned her knees on either side of him as she straddled him. Her small hand caught his member and held it to her aching core. He went to smirk but failed to as she eased her hips down, taking just the tip of him into her tight body, relishing holding him there. Remaining still just to tease them both and gasped as she lunged down to take his hard bulk into her. She cried out as he touched every nerve ending inside her needy sex. His hand gripped her hips as she rode him like she was an unbroken filly as she bucked and heaved on him.

"Tifa, it's been too long. I'm going to cum..." He almost shouted through clenched teeth. She was completely undone as tears dripped beneath her clenched eyes at the sensation of his movements in her. Just watching her was enough to make him cum as she undulated on him, her breasts bouncing enticingly and her hungry expression was almost feral with her need for her sweet release.

"Yesssssss" she cried as her damp hair flew around them. Her eyes flew open as the world spun out of control as she came and he went steely hard and then hotly burst into her pulsating walls as they massaged his own needy sex, spiking her own pleasure and prolonging it.

"Yes, you're going to give me the shirt?" Reno asked Tifa, wondering why she was saying it so emphatically to a simple inquiry as she stood frozen in place with a weird expression on her face. He felt exposed at how hungry she looked and felt absurdly like crossing his arms over his chest, like a woman trying to conceal her breasts from unwanted eyes. Her scrutiny of him made him feel uncomfortable.

She dropped the shirt and then quickly retrieved it. "Oh sorry, here" she said and handed it to him.

He pulled it on, "this will do. Do you have a shopping bag I can borrow for my shirt and jacket?" He asked her.

"Sure" she said, hurrying to retrieve one, realizing she'd better get Cloud home and laid soon. Embarrassed what she was fantasizing about the Turk. Honestly, as if she'd never seen a half-naked man before!

She could barely look at him as she made him up a grilled cheese sandwich and gave him a beer for his lunch and he left and went about his day, oblivious to what occurred in her mind and she went and took a cold shower.


	2. Chapter 2

Tifa sighed as she signed the papers Cloud's lawyers had had delivered to her and she realized she'd severed her last connection to her past and Neibelheim itself. She had just agreed to joint custody of Denzel and a payment plan to buy Cloud's half of their jointly own property; her bar.

Their so-called: common law marriage was now officially over, she bitterly realized.

She believed Cloud when he told her he didn't expect to meet another woman he wanted to be with, that it just happened, but that didn't make it any less painful for her. She was forced to wonder; "why her and not me?" Over and over again.

Tifa hadn't told any of their friends yet and they didn't wonder as he him being absent as this wasn't abnormal. Though it should have been...

Tifa's eyes filled with tears and she made an appointment to see her therapist.

"You can't make me see her" Dr. Beekham raged from inside the closest where he'd sequestered himself when his secretary admitted she'd set up an appointment with Tifa for that afternoon.

"It's only for an hour" Ms. Jenson said in a soothing tone that normally gentled her temper tantrum prone three-year-old.

"I don't care. Why do they allow just anyone to purchase health insurance? That woman is obsessed with him. I don't blame Cloud for running for the hills. Who can be obsessed with a person for that long and be slightly normal?" He raged.

"She's had a tragic life" Miss Jenson called to him.

"She's bat shit obsessed. She makes Sephiroth look like an easy-going choir boy. Tell her to find another therapist, I'm firing myself from her care" he insisted.

"You will come out of that closet and act like a professional" she ordered him.

"Okay, but this is the last time I'm seeing her" he insisted.

Dr. Beekham listened to Tifa talk about and sob about the loss of her mate and then asked the usual question: if she found herself drawn to a new person and was surprised when she blushed.

"I had a very explicit fantasy about someone; when they were there" she admitted.

He sat up at this "who is this someone?" He asked her.

"He's little more than an acquaintance. He's attractive but in a gaudy way. He's..." Tifa said and paused to form her words in the best way to describe Reno.

"And?" Dr. Beekham asked her.

"He's friendly in his own way but at the same time, calculating and seems to have only a few close friends. He's pompous and seems to think he's the Goddess's gift to women...and they seem to agree with him" she concluded, thinking about how women in her bar always seem to stare at him when he was present and the bevy of beauties she'd seen him with.

"So, he's a player?" Dr. Beekham asked her and Tifa nodded.

"It sounds like you should consider this person good practice" he suggested.

"You're suggesting that I throw myself at him?" She demanded, shocked to her core.

"No, I meant use him to help you develop your relationship skills so you can meet another man. You told me that you were really young when all this began. I'm sure you missed a lot of relationship milestones. If he's how you described, I'm sure he won't mind if you flirt a bit with him or make him a meal or two if only for social reasons. Sometimes you need a player to get you back in the game" Dr. Beekham explained.

Tifa was beyond embarrassed as she contemplated Dr. Beekham's advice. But she had no clue about flirting or how to show a man she was interested in him and decided it couldn't hurt to try. So, she went to a library three towns over, too embarrassed to go to her local library for research.

The librarian wondered why the beautiful young woman, who came into her library, was acting so furtive and wore a shawl to cover her head and dark sunglasses. She cleared her throat when she came to the desk.

"Yes?" She politely asked her.

"I need to check out books on dating and flirting, generally how to get a guy" she said in voice barely above a whisper.

Her eyebrows shot up at this. Even behind the concealment, she could tell the young woman was a knockout. "We have those books but they are more geared towards teenagers. You will find them over here..." She said and led her to the correct section. "Here is where we keep books on how to be wild in bed" she concluded.

Tifa blushed and gathered the stack up, including the ones about being wild in bed. She was very thorough as she poured over the books and puzzled over some of what they suggested.

Then she happened to overhear Reno's and Rude's conversation over lunch at her bar one day...

"So, you've got the day off tomorrow?" Rude asked him.

"Yup, I don't have any real plans. I like to drop my dry cleaning off for the one-hour service, first thing in the morning at A Clean Bill's while drinking my first coffee and bum around until they're done and then plan my day from there" Reno explained.

"Bill's the best, he sure knows how to get out bloodstains" Rude agreed.

Tifa's mind was awhirl at the information.

She read even more in-depth.

It was suggested that she put herself in the object of her affection's path. But that seemed like stalking to her.

But she shrugged and persevered. "Do men really like that?" She asked herself out loud with a blush as she pictured herself fingering her fantasy Reno's prostate while they...

She firmly shut that book and made up a list of what seemed to be the key points: 1. Look your best. 2. Show you're interested by getting him to talk about himself and encourage him by laughing at his jokes. 3. See if you can coax him into taking you on a date.

LOOK YOUR BEST

Tifa frowned at her reflection in the mirror and had to admit that she truly looked great. She wore the dress she'd worn to Cid and Shera's wedding, it was garnet coloured and clingy and had a low cut, but tasteful cleavage. The back was almost entirely missing, a bunch of overlaying straps held the dress in place and created a loose lace pattern on her back. The short shirt showed off long, toned legs that terminated in strappy sandals. The back of the dress wouldn't show otherwise, so she put her hair up into a complex bun and braid combination that allowed only a few tendrils to escape. Her chandelier earrings and matching necklace had been her mother's and she practiced fiddling with them as the flirt books had suggested.

A final application of subtle lip gloss and she was ready.

She did indeed look beautiful and her outfit wouldn't have been out of place for the grand opera or an expensive restaurant.

But she was wildly overdressed to be meeting and gadding about town with the Turk for a morning stroll, even for her own personal research.

She pretended to be going for a stroll as she more of less stood in front of his preferred dry-cleaning place and waited to accidently bump into him.

Reno was drinking his usual wake up dark roast triple-triple as he walked to his dry cleaners with a bag full of clothes. He wondered slightly at the woman dressed up for so early a morning, until he recognized her. "Hey Tifa, are you and Cloud doing some kind of role playing game where he's going to pretend to come pick you up?" He asked her without preamble. The horn dog in him allowing for no other explanation that wasn't sex related.

She looked livid and then blushed and then threw back her head and gave a loud, braying laugh that grated on his nerves like fingernails on a blackboard.

"Oh, you're so funny" she enthused and punched him lightly in the chest in what she thought was a seductive way that nearly knocked him over.

"Um, yeah. I should go" he said, fighting the urge to rub the sore part on his chest while marveling at her strength at the same time. What a Turk she would make!

"Would you like to go for coffee?" Tifa said to him.

"Thanks, I've got one" he said strolling past her into his dry cleaners and frowned that she was still there when he come out.

"I understand there's a street fair going on. Perhaps we can go there for a bit?" Tifa persisted.

Reno didn't know what was going on and almost felt like looking for hidden cameras as how she was acting bizarrely around him. However, he had an hour to kill and shrugged and said, "Why not" and was surprised when she latched onto his arm like a barnacle.

"Why do ya gotta cling to me?" He asked her as they strolled through the midway. He was wondering at her behaviour and why she kept emitting those hideous giggles. She was also clinging to him like a leech and endlessly fiddling with her jewelry for some reason. Then she was also trying to sway her hips as she walked in a way that made it seem more like a past injury that was still bothering her.

"I feel more protected this way" she demurred.

"You can punch a guy through a wall" he argued.

GET HIM TO TALK ABOUT HIMSELF

"So, do you have any brothers or sisters?" She cut in.

"Any details of my past are classified" he told her and she frowned at this.

"Do you have any hobbies?" She persisted.

"Nope" he answered.

"Would you like to win the young lady a prize?" A man at a shooting booth asked. Reno glanced at it; it seemed simple enough, you had to use a gun to knock plastic ducks over.

"I would like that" Tifa said, giving him a seductive smile that showed him so many teeth that he felt she was about to go for his throat and reared back slightly.

"I'm not a gun man. I haven't used them since basic training" he explained.

"Two gils a turn" the man said "and each one counts towards upgrading your prizes" he suggested, seeing how he had the young man interested in his highly rigged game.

Reno took up the fake gun and stepped forward and began shooting.

"Take it and get out of here before you bankrupt me" the roadie spat as he thrust the hugest, gayest looking pink teddy bear into his arms as Tifa looked at him with admiring eyes...and the bear with frozen eyes and a saccharine smile.

They continued their walk with him carrying the bear as it was almost the same size as the petite, overdressed woman. He'd stopped and bought them both ice cream cones mainly because he didn't know what else to do with the oddly behaving woman, with how she seemed to simper around him and hang onto his every word.

"Can I try your ice cream?" She asked him. He lowered it down to her level, "no, I want to taste it from your lips" she said in a breathy voice stepping forward and drawing his head down to her own until their breaths mingled as they had in her fantasy. Her lips covered his and she could taste strawberry ice cream on his lips and deeper as his mouth opened under hers to allow her to explore the sweet interior of his oral cavity. She got tingles throughout her entire body and her one leg lifted dreamily behind her as she clung to him as they kissed. It was suddenly night and fireworks exploded around them as everyone clapped in celebration.

That's what happened in Tifa's mind at least.

Here's what happened in reality:

Reno found himself oddly aroused for the first time at Tifa's seductive tone and bent to kiss her, bear and all. When out of the corner of his eye, something came barreling towards his head and his reflexes made him leap forward and bring both Tifa, he and the bear to the ground and he covered her with his body and looked around for the danger.

"We can't here!" Tifa ludicrously said as if he was attempting a three way in the street with her and the genderless bear. He leapt off her and whirled to face his opponent. The contortionist got to her feet after throwing a dagger at him with her foot during her act.

"Puta" she screamed at him.

"Lola?" He said to her.

"Des Mois. Si, you remember me? The last I saw of you, you left me naked on a beach after we made love all night long. I almost got arrested, you Bastardio!" She shrieked at him.

Tifa could only stare at her, they were both brunettes but there is where the similarity ended. Lola had a complexion like warm butterscotch and her large turquoise eyes made her look even more exotic against her black uber curly hair. She wore only a glittering brief blue body suit that made Tifa feel like an overly upholstered couch. Tifa knew her figure was impressive but the other woman's was more lush and an almost exaggerated hourglass figure.

"Who are you?" She asked her as she ranted at Reno in a combination of English and some other language that she couldn't understand but it seemed the woman was very mad at him.

"I texted you over and over again to say I would be in your shitty town for one night and you never got back to me and here you bring this, this...puta to my circus" she ranted at him as she thrust her hands at Tifa.

"What's a puta?" Tifa ventured.

"She's just a woman I know and we ran into each other and were killing a little time together. I switched carriers and don't have that number anymore" he explained to the pissed off woman.

"And you can't text me your new one..." She demanded and angrily beat her fists against his chest as he put his arms around her and hungrily kissed her until she melted into his embrace and hungrily kissed him back...and everyone applauded.

"Oh Reno" she sighed.

"As if I could forget the world's most flexible girl" he said with a grin. "Can I take you to dinner tonight?" He asked her.

"No, just take me to your place and make love to me" she all but pleaded.

"Can do, let's go" he said taking her arm. "Bye Tifa, enjoy your bear. It's been very..." He called over his shoulder and left the sentence hanging.

Tifa fumed as the gorgeous couple left with Lola clinging to him like a leech. She didn't really give a rat's ass about Reno personally but felt offended at his rejection of her. "This isn't over" she shrieked after him and he idly wondered about this as he only had eyes for Lola.

COAX HIM TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE

Oh she would, she sure would, Tifa decided.


	3. Chapter 3

Tifa returned all the books but one: How to Capture Your Red-Blooded Male by Lorna Love. There was something about the lengths she suggested going to that spoke to Tifa's love starved soul.

She was no closer to winning Reno's help then before and in fact, he seemed to be avoiding her.

Obviously, pretending to run into him randomly hadn't worked.

Neither had pretending to be coy. She'd worn an actual kimono borrowed from Yuffie and had put her hair up and worn traditional Wutaian makeup. She'd acted to a T the role of a shy Wutaian maiden had minced around her bar, being especially attentive to his lunch order and Reno had all but ignored her, when he wasn't looking at her like she was a lunatic. Finally, he'd ordered his lunch to go and left with the blonde sitting a few tables over. Apparently, they were eating it at her place.

As for sending him random texts, that had completely backfired:

That book had advised to keep them causal and not to send more than two a day and just randomly ask a question, like: should I get the strawberry filled donut or the honey dip?

Tifa had texted exactly that from a coffee shop and waited for his response with bated breath.

"It depends. Where are you?" He politely texted back, not sure why he was being asked that question from the strangely acting woman, who seemed to have picked up a fetish for role playing when he was around. But he felt it a harmless enough question to answer.

"The Grind House " she texted back to his question.

"The one on Main Street or the one on Shinra Boulevard?" He asked her.

"Shinra Boulevard" she answered.

"Good, the one on Main makes crappy donuts. The only donut worth having in the place is the double chocolate with sour cream glaze. Is your delivery service now offering door to door food delivery services? What a great idea. Could you bring me two of those donuts and an extra-large dark roast triple-triple?" He requested, feeling he could use a pick me up right about that time.

"What about my donut choice?" She texted him back, wondering why he was treating her like a delivery person. That was Cloud's company and she was no longer involved in it.

"I'll buy it for you. Add it to my order. Please bring them to HQ as soon as possible. I'll leave word to expect you at security" he said.

"But which one should I get?" She persisted as she fumed at how dense he was being.

"Whatever you want, I'm a little busy. See you soon" he said and returned to the woman sitting on his desk. His shirt was completely unbuttoned and he had her panties sticking out of his front jacket pocket like a weird handkerchief. The nest of unruly spikes on his head were now a rat's nest.

"I'm sorry, why did you have to return a text in the middle of us having sex?" Scarlet complained as she slid her dress down.

"I thought it might be important, but it was just from a delivery girl. Now, where were we?" He said in a husky voice as his fingers walked their ways up firm thighs and her anger melted as he kissed her.

Tifa was fuming so hard that she was surprised she wasn't leaving a trail of steam behind her as she actually had purchased his order and was bringing it to him. "I'm here to bring this to Reno" she all but spat at the security guards at the desk.

"You're from the Strife Delivery Service?" He asked her.

"Something like that. I'm Tifa Lockhart" she said showing them her ID and one of them escorted her to Reno's office.

He knocked on the door and Reno opened it, looking more disheveled then even usual and he had a lipstick stain on his collar.

"Hi Reno I'm here to bring you..." She said with a bright smile and then caught sight of what was sticking out of his pocket and how Scarlet was straightening her clothes as she sat on his desk. It was like they had been...Tifa blushed heavily at what she realized they'd been doing.

"What's she doing here?" Scarlet demanded, stalking to his side.

"She's come to save my life" he said taking the bag from Tifa's nerveless hand and taking a gulp of the coffee and large bite of the first donut. "A man needs to keep his energy up" he said, giving Tifa a saucy wink that seemed to make her blush deepen.

"Oh, she's delivering these to you? Yes, I do recall her and the so-called hero opened some kind of courier service" Scarlet said. "Have you a card? I might be able to throw some business your way" she said to Tifa.

Tifa suddenly found her voice. "The only thing I would deliver for you: is you to hell" she growled to her former enemy.

"Why didn't you ask if I wanted anything?" Scarlet complained to Reno, ignoring Tifa.

"You were too busy" he said as he attacked his impromptu meal with gusto. "Besides, you will benefit from every drop of this sugar fueled energy." Then he turned his attention to Tifa, "thanks for bringing this by. How much do I owe you?" He politely asked Tifa.

"Don't bother" Tifa said.

"Great policy making your first delivery free" he complimented her. "I shall certainly be contacting you in the future. I hope you don't mind me saying, your customer service skills could use a little work" he said and closed the door when Tifa opened and closed her mouth like a fish gasping for air, unable to form words at his audacity. The sounds of Scarlet's moans heralded out her departure.

That clearly hadn't worked, she mused.

MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A HERO

Reno tried to avoid Tifa and her bar like the plague since she seemed to have some kind of weird fixation with him but her half-price martini nights packed the place to the gills with pretty, horny woman. So, he went.

The place was swarming with beauties as soon as the nearby offices emptied for the day as the ladies got more and more tipsy and Tifa was practically run off her feet trying to keep up with the demand for her various signature drinks. Reno noted that she'd added a new one called: The Blonde Slut.

She did throw some speculative looks at him.

Males came in for the tipsy females just as much as for her martini menu. There was a rather rough one that was getting trying to a little too friendly with her and wasn't put off by her chilly disinterest.

"I'll have a blow job martini" he said.

"I don't offer that one" she snapped.

"You can if we go into your office" he suggested with a leer.

"I'm not interested..." She said and turned her back on him.

"Then why you shaking those tits in my face? You know you want it" he called out to her.

The bar went silent. Everyone knew how she reacted to being insulted.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. If you will finish your drink, I suggest you be on your way" she said in a deadly calm voice.

"Oh, I get it, you're a frigid cock tease" he taunted her.

"Sir, I suggest..."Tifa began and then remembered how every man wanted to be made to feel being a hero as she'd read. "Reno are you just going to sit there and let him talk to me like that?" She demanded of him.

He choked on his drink to be put in the spot like that. "What?" He gasped between coughs.

"This man needs to be taught a lesson in manners" she said with her hands on her hips.

"You can punch a man through a wall and you feel that _I_ need to defend your honour? Oh, very well" he said, getting to his feet. "Hey pal, I would apologize to the lady and leave. Don't let the pretty package fool you, she's crazy skilled at martial arts" he urged him.

"What's a scrawny wimp like you going to do to me? He said getting to his feet so he towered over Reno. "You look like something that could be slipped under a door" he laughed.

"What did you say?" Tifa said, stepping before him before Reno could respond to his insult. "Do you know who this is? This is the second-in-command of the Turks" she snapped at him, her anger almost palpable.

"Tifa, no one's supposed to know who I..." Reno said with a blush.

"You apologize" she snapped and everyone laughed at how suddenly she was defending him.

"Sorry banana man. I'm sorry you're about ninety-nine pounds soaking wet" he said with a smirk and his eyes rolled back in his head when her fist met his face and he collapsed with all the grace of a bag of wet cement.

"Get up, I'll make you eat those words" Tifa spat she dumped a bucket of ice over him and he groaned as she hauled him up by his collar. "You aren't to talk to Reno like that again" she threatened, giving him a right cross to his jaw.

"Tifa, that enough" Reno said, his face was so red that his tattoos were rendered invisible.

"Give me a minute. I'm teaching this bum a lesson" she said as she shook the groaning man.

A woman ran up to Reno, "oh Reno you're so strong and brave for sticking up for Tifa" the petite woman said in admiration and this caused both Tifa and Reno to freeze at this.

"I-I am. Women of the world are all safe with me around...Misty" he guessed after an embarrassed pause, unable to remember her name.

"Michelle. Come home with me. I would like to reward you for being a hero" she suggested.

"Wait a minute..." Tifa objected.

"I was just about to leave" he said with a smirk as he offered her his arm and she took it as she simpered before him.

"Bye Tifa..." He mumbled without a single glance backwards.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Tifa muttered as she hauled the barely conscious man out of her bar and deposited him onto the sidewalk.

"Have you anything to confess, my child?" Reno asked Michelle, now remembering her from her fetish. The petite brunette now wore a school girl's uniform and he, a priest's clerical collar. He also wore a standard black shirt and cross with nothing below his waist.

"I confess to the sin of lust" she said in a hushed voice barely above a whisper and bashfully lowered her eyes.

"Those are grave sins indeed that I must cure you of. Remove your underwear, turn up your skirt and lie across my lap" he ordered her and she did, revealing her pert bottom. Reno was already tired of their role playing. He wasn't into fantasies about beating women and sighed and brought his hand crashing down on her right buttock, leaving the pain stain of his handprint there. His thoughts turned to Tifa as he repeated the process and tuned out the wailing woman and wondered what the hell was with Tifa.

Tifa had finally bought her own copy of Lorna's book and sighed at how her about the author intro included how she met her wonderful husband and how that led to their two kids. "How romantic" Tifa breathed. Then she noticed an email and decided to reach out and ask the authoress for personal advice, it couldn't hurt, the worst she could do was ignore her request.

Elena, a.k.a. Lorna Love got home after a grueling day at the office and took a shower and put on comfy clothes.

She'd already eaten a pizza slice, so didn't need to worry about dinner.

Instead, she fixed a drink and opened up her alias's email account. Elena wrote relationship advice books to supplement her income and because she liked helping women, like herself, find love.

Her writing career had started with personal notes to herself regarding her pursuit of Tseng, these had developed into an online blog that she's created a pen name and persona for. She got some many hits and enthusiastic responses from her extreme suggestions, that she decided to write a book and that was widely received. That led to her publishing more.

She skimmed through them and said "no way" when she recognized the one email address. She'd signed up to be emailed specials going on at Tifa's bar. Besides, who else had the email address: ?

Elena opened it:

 _Dear Ms. Love,_

 _I love your books._

 _I hope you don't mind me reaching out to you for advice._

 _I recently got out of a long-term_ _relationship._

 _On the advice of my therapist, it was suggested that I approach a man I know, who's a known playboy to help me gain social and dating skills that I suspect I'm lacking, having only been in one relationship in my life._

 _I'm not actually interested in dating him, my intention is to have him mentor me as we go on pretend dates to show me what I'm doing wrong and offer suggestions_ _to help me_ _improve._

 _I tried approaching him based on various suggestions I read about,_ _to have him show me what men enjoy, but nothing seems to work._

 _Can you give me some advice?_

 _Thanks,_

 _Tifa._

Elena felt sorry for her, she didn't know that the constant Tifa and Cloud were over and wondered who the other guy was. Then she remembered overhearing how Reno had been complaining about being stalked by Tifa to Rude. "Oh dear, it can't be" she said with a chuckle.

Normally Elena would have told the woman to simply talk him and ask for his help, but this was too irresistible an opportunity to pass up and get even with the cocky redhead's condescending ways.

" _Dear Tifa,_

 _Thank you for reaching out to me._

 _Yes,_ _he does seem like he would be a tough nut to crack and is probably fairly clueless as to your intentions._

 _I think you need to go the extreme on this one. Nothing shows your interest in him like kidnapping him_ _and tying him to your_ _bed. You don't have to do anything dirty with him. Tell him about yourself, read him your favourite_ _poem; do anything you want, he's literally your captive audience. Then you can play hard to get by making him wait for you to release him. Go for a long walk._ _Go grocery shopping. Treat yourself to a much-needed_ _spa day and pamper yourself. In other_ _words; make him wait..._ " Elena typed as she chuckled.


	4. Chapter 4

PLAYING HARD TO GET

Tifa read the email from Lorna, three times, certain she was misinterpreting what it meant. She wasn't seriously suggesting that Tifa abduct Reno and imprison him?

" _Thank_ _you_ _for your response, but doesn't that seem a little...extreme, not to mention dangerous and completely against the law?_

 _Yours,_

 _Tifa_ "

Elena got home and read Tifa's email and was still irked at Reno that day for criticizing how she held her gun. How the hell would he know? He didn't even use one. He had a super long, glorified electric cattle prod that he was always waving around as if to overcompensate for _something_. Her aim was deadly accurate and execution, flawless. What did the big, dumb jerk really know?

She took a sip of her drink and typed back.

" _No, if you truly want his help, you have to show him what lengths you're willing to go to achieve your goal. If he's the player you claim him to be, I'm sure his techniques_ _are part of his personal arsenal_ _and private and unique to him. So,_ _give him a sedative_ _in a drink or two and tie him down as tightly as you can. I would suggest investing in some decent handcuffs. Oh,_ _and don't actually tell him the reason why you did it_ _or ask for his help. A gal has to maintain some mystery_ " Elena answered, she wasn't shocked when Tifa answered her right away.

" _But wouldn't it make more sense to tell him the reason?_ " Tifa asked her.

" _Nah, let him guess and don't forget to find some of your favourite_ _poems or share a chapter or two of a favourite_ _book to help pass the time._

 _I've gotta_ _go now. I would suggest you crush a tablet of...naming_ _a fast-acting_ _sleep aid. It's undetectable if added to a sweet drink and can knock out an elephant. I use it a lot in my line of work._

 _Good luck and please keep on reading me. I have a new book coming out_ _called:_ _Put Down the Binoculars: How to_ _Hunt Down Your Man and_ _Make Him Beg for_ _Your Love's Mercy_ _._

 _Yours,_

 _Lorna_ "

Elena rubbed her hands together in glee for what the gullible Tifa would do to Reno. He would be so confused as to her intentions. Good, Elena thought as she raised her glass in a mocking toast to the hapless redhead. "My grip is _just_ fine" she muttered into the silence.

Tifa considered Lorna's advice and mentally shrugged, she was the expert after all. However, why did an authoress need to use sedatives in her line of work? So, she baited her trap and sent Reno a text and then made a meticulous list of what she would need to feather her nest.

Reno was rather surprised when Tifa did nothing more than ask him over for a drink with no theatrics of any sort. He pondered this as he read her text and decided it seemed harmless enough a proposal. So, he texted back that he was leaving his office early in a few days and could swing by afterwards and she agreed to this.

He drove over to her place and was shown into the unopened bar by her and he was a little surprised when she led him up the stairs to her own apartment. She seemed a tad nervous but he just assumed that that was her being alone with a man. Wait, did she want for them to...? Was that the cause of her strange behaviour; simple lust? He wondered, but what about Cloud? She seemed to be firmly grafted onto him and doubted that their parting would change that. Reno found Tifa extremely desirable but her obsession with the man was a complete turn off. Why bother pursuing a quarry that wasn't interested when there was so much other fair game about that was?

"Here's the drink I made for you. I remembered you like the taste of strawberries," she said fetching the drink from her fridge and tried to act causal about it as she set it before him.

His eyes went wide as he looked at the pink frothy mess: not only was it pink and frothy but rainbow sprinkles rimmed the margarita glass. Bits of strawberry floated in it and what looking like some kind of syrup had created a darker red swirling pattern on the glass, from the bottom to the top. That pattern was echoed in the candy cane patterned straw. The final touch was: a red rock candy swizzle stick poked over the side as if demanding he suckle it.

"What the hell is this?" He demanded.

"I invented it, I call it: A Strawberry Electric Dreamboat" Tifa proudly said.

"Can't I just have a beer?" Reno asked her, wondering if she had hidden cameras about to record him drinking the gay looking thing. The guys at the office would have a field day with that footage!

"I made this especially for you" Tifa said in a forceful voice, remembering Lorna had told her the drink had to be sweet, not knowing how Tifa took advice to the extreme.

Reno reluctantly took a sip and made an almost sexual sound at how good it tasted, Tifa blushed at how that reminded her of her very vivid fantasy about him. "I have to admit, this is good. So, what can I do you for?" he remarked and drank it with more enthusiasm.

"We never seem to talk. How have you been?" Tifa asked him.

"Good" he replied.

"Have you seen the new blockbuster that just came out?" She asked him.

"I don't go to the movies. You know how it is, you spend fifteen bucks a person and get busy in the dark and miss the whole thing. I prefer to download movies and watch them in my spare time" he explained to her.

"Get busy?" She inquired of him.

"You know: feeling each other up, fingering her or her giving me a hand job and even oral if there's no one towards the back of the theater" he explained as Tifa gaped like a fish back at him in shock. "Why, what do you do during a movie?" He asked her.

"I eat popcorn and watch the movie" she deadpanned.

"Can I have another?" He asked her when he'd emptied him glass and a wave of grogginess hit him. "You drugged my drink" he stated as his head swam.

"It's only a sedative, you're perfectly safe" she assured him when he leapt to his feet and drunkenly staggered in place. He flipped his electro rod so it extended to its full size.

"Perfectly safe? You drugged me and plan to do goddess knows what to me. What bizarro world to you live in where it's acceptable to drug people?" He slurred at her as he burnished it towards her and glared in challenge as she wrapped her hands around it.

"Put this down, I swear no harm will come to you" she said in a soothing tone she used on Denzel when he was being fussy about something. Reno didn't look convinced.

"You're crazy. I'm leaving" he said. "Don't make me electrocute you!" He slurred.

"Just relax" she said as she firmly held onto his weapon.

"Let go" he demanded, surprised at how strong the petite woman was.

He flipped on the switch to release the electricity when he staggered and the weapon flew from his grasp, Tifa accidentally turned it in her grasp and the electric tip struck him squarely on his nude chest and the world went black as the current jolted through him.

Tifa felt instantly bad as she looked at the crumpled form of Reno, he looked pitiful rather than sexy. She examined his chest for burn marks but miraculously, there were none. She quickly figured out how to turn off the rod that jerked on her floor and put it aside. Reno was heavier then he looked as she maneuvered him into a fireman's carry so she could place him on her bed.

She got out the cuffs that she's borrowed from Cid and wondered why he hadn't asked what they were for, he'd only given her a sardonic look and chuckled slightly as he went to retrieve them from under his _own_ bed as Shera blushed and looked guilty.

Tifa soon had Reno handcuffed by his wrists and ankles and arranged a pillow beneath his head and pushed his hair out of his face, trying to make him comfortable. She then removed his goggles that she assumed must be pinching his head. Honestly, why did it he wear them everywhere? She wondered as she set them aside and studied him, his face in repose without his customary smirk, looked younger and more vulnerable. She guessed his age to be around twenty-five.

She realized she knew so little about him, even after knowing him for years. She knew that he liked: to drink and sleep with various women, that was about it. She didn't even know his last name. Did he have one? She couldn't help studying him through fresh eyes as a sexual being. Why had she never realized how handsome he was under his smirks and swagger? She couldn't help studying his revealed chest and wondering if his body was as impressive as it had been in her fantasy. She found herself peering down his shirt and lifting it slightly where it lay unbuttoned and tracing with her eyes, the smooth hairless muscles of his powerful chest. She blushed and caught herself and quickly buttoned up his shirt right to the top and neatly straightened his collar, like a mother trying make her daughter look decent and locking the sight of temptation from her gaze.

Their arrangement would be strictly business of course, she firmly told herself. Yet she blushed at how he was lying on her bed, as he had in her fantasy. She could recall his body in embarrassing detail. She glanced at his groin, did he truly wear those alluring underwear? They had been black seamless low-rise boxer briefs that had no logo on them, that hugged the compact but sensuous curves of his ass cheeks. She remembered how they had sat just at the level where the bright nest of flames at his groin began and how his large proudly standing erection sprang forth on their removal. She remembered how the wild tangle of them felt under her fingertips and felt the urge to comb her fingers through them...

Tifa blushed and focused on his face, his lips were both thin and full at same time and were slightly parted as if begging to be kissed. She looked sharply away and then glanced back as the long, spidery eyelashes that lay on his cheeks fluttered open, revealing startled blue eyes.

Reno quickly took in his surroundings before he even opened his eyes, his body was buzzing slightly, that indicated he'd been electrocuted but not at a dangerous level. He was tied up and someone was beside him as he lay on a cushioned surface and he wasn't naked, that was a relief. He opened his eyes to find Tifa smiling at him politely and asked him "how you feeling, sleepyhead?" In a way that made him stare at her incredulously.

"What the fuck? Why am I tied to your bed?" He demanded of the demented woman.

"I thought we could take this opportunity to get to know each other. Do you have a last name?" She asked him.

"Of course, I do" he snapped but didn't divulge it.

Tifa sighed at his stubbornness as if he were about Denzel's age. "Okay I'll go first. You know my name..." She said.

"I read your entire file. You know what I do for a living, right? Your father's name was Seamus and your mother's name was Angelica, both deceased. Your middle name is Mildred. That's a really horrible name" he taunted her.

"What's my favourite colour?" She asked him through narrowed eyes.

"I don't know" he said in exasperation.

"Why wasn't that in my file?" She asked him facetiously. "Purple. My favourite flowers are lilies. I know guys think women like roses, but I prefer lilies how their petals radiate so prettily from their center..." She said.

"Like a woman's vagina?" he suggested to her.

"Everything is about sex when it comes to you. I'm trying to have a polite conversation with you..." She snapped.

"With me tied to your bed. Why am I tied to your bed?" He demanded to know. "If you intend to rape me, go right ahead" he said with a suggestive lift of his hips that made her blush again.

"I would never do that to anyone" she insisted.

"Then again, why am I tied to your bed?!" He practically shrieked.

"Do you like poetry?" She asked him.

"What does that have to do with anything? Release me at once" he cried. He wondered if she was completely insane or always had been and he'd never noticed that while he was staring at her tits. He even thought she might have killed Cloud if he didn't know where he was and that he was planning his wedding to another woman. Had the led to Tifa going insane and determining to take Reno with her? He looked at her with wide, terrified eyes as she took out a thick book entitled "The Complete and Unabridged Volume of Shakespeare's Love Sonnets" What fresh hell was this? Reno wondered and gaped at her when she started to read.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?/Thou art more lovely and more temperate..." She began.

"Just let me go" he said when she had finished.

"Wasn't that beautiful? I love this one too" she enthused and read aloud again.

Reno was forced to wonder if he was being subjected to some bizarre torture technique as she read poem after poem. "So beautiful" she sniffled as she put her bookmark in and lay it aside.

"Now what?" Reno asked her suspiciously.

"I'm going to go to the laundry mat for a couple of hours, when I get back. I'll fix us some dinner and we'll watch that movie together that I mentioned, I downloaded it while you were unconscious. I have theater style popcorn I can pop and we don't even have to get _busy_. She said with disapproval in her voice.

"You can't leave me here like this!" He cried when she picked up her laundry bag and she gave him a smile and went down the stairs.

He swore and got busy himself. Concealed in his coat cuffs on either side, was a hidden pocket that contained a sophisticated lock pick device that allowed him to insert it into any lock. The malleable metal took the shape of any key and rotated when he touched a certain part to open any lock, even locks attached to himself. He could have gotten out at any time, but curiosity as to Tifa's intentions kept him there. However, he had had enough and once one cuff was sprung, he was out them all in under a minute and stood up. He frowned and unbuttoned his shirt to its usual point, grabbed his googles and rod and was on his way, after leaving a note for his would-be captor.

Tifa stood beside her bed that was draped in handcuffs, her bag of clean laundry lay on the ground, where she'd dropped it in shock to find Reno gone.

" _Dear Crazy Bitch,_

 _Have you lost your fucking mind?_ _You don't tie a man to your_ _bed and bore him to death._ _At least have the_ _decency to rape him!_

 _Fuck you, stay away from me!_ _I don't know what you actually_ _had planned for us later but I won't be here to witness it. I have a date with a woman tonight that will rape me when she ties me to her bed and appreciates roses, not stinking lilies._

 _Have a happy go fuck yourself._

 _Yours,_

 _Reno, Last Name, none of your business._

 _XOXO_ "

"I think I might have gone a little too far" Tifa said and hurried to send another email to Lorna.

" _Don't sweat it, I'm sure he loved it deep down in his heart. But if you're concerned that he might have lingering anger, you should apologize by..._ " Tifa read and shrugged and called the number Lorna had provided for her and placed an order.

Reno's face was a mask of horror as the Gorilla Gram from the singing telegram agency tap danced and sang to him a song about forgiving Tifa. The performer wore over his gorilla costume, a little girl's pink dress and a blonde wig in ringlets as he pranced and gyrated before Reno in full view of the Turks headquarters' staff, even Rufus had come in to see what the commotion was all about. They were all entranced by the sight of the six foot-something singing gorilla cavorting around the frozen Reno. Elena was laughing so hard that tears were rolling unchecked down her cheeks as Reno tasered the man in the costume out of desperation to get him to stop advancing on him.

Reno was terrified of Gorillas.


	5. Chapter 5

Although I added this to the story summary, I wanted to reiterate that Kalta79 deserves a warm thanks for helping me with chapter set ups and story/chapter ideas. She's responsible for the entire idea with Chapter 4, I merely wrote my interpretation of how I thought it would pan out and the idea of Elena (one of the characters) being the author of one of the books was her idea. Thanks hon!

Roll 'em…..

PAMPER HIM

Tifa felt bad how her abduction of Reno had really upset him and how Lorna had suggested she apologize, had backfired.

He'd called her right after he received his "gift", with a head full of steam and blasted her out and said things to her that could not be repeated in polite society.

"It was a suggestion from a friend...I just wanted to apologize" she said in a contrite voice.

"By unleashing that unspeakable dancing creature upon me!" He demanded.

"Unspeakable creature? But I requested Shirley Temple Gorilla? Did they send the wrong character?" Tifa asked him.

"Oh, they sent the _right_ one all right" he said and swore at her.

"Wait, do you not like gorillas?" Tifa inquired in an innocent voice.

"That is _none_ of your business!" Reno insisted after a long pause.

"You really don't like them" Tifa said, she was a very empathic person and able to pick up on cues about people. "Are you afraid of them? Reno, I'm so sorry. What you must have felt to see even a fake one dancing before you. I bet you wished you were wearing an adult diaper" Tifa said with such sympathy in her voice that he could feel himself turning red.

"I'm _not_ afraid of anything" he said in a deadly calm voice of challenge.

"Is it the low browed simian features that scare you?" She asked him.

"I just said..." He interrupted her.

"How about the large, creepy hands. It that is?" She said interrupting _him_.

The pause was even longer this time, making Tifa think she was onto something.

"My fears, or lack thereof are none of your concern" he said and hung up the phone.

" _Dear Lorna,_

 _It looks like all I_ _managed to do is upset him and I give up. Perhaps I'm just meant to be alone if even the biggest playboy on Gaia can't spare the time to help me get back into the game?_ _Though, I quite frankly doubt I was ever in the game to begin with. I mean my life isn't so bad:_ _I have a lucrative_ _business, good friends and a son I'm proud of and another child I co-parent with. Perhaps romance isn't in the cards for me?_

 _I thank you for your advice but I don't want to bother him anymore._

 _Yours,_

 _Tifa_ "

Elena felt a twinge of guilt when she read this. The fact was, for all his flaws, Reno was a nice guy who would probably would have assisted Tifa if she'd just approached him and asked for his help. Heck, he was so proud of how he was so smooth with the ladies that he would have insisted on mentoring so lacking a pupil. As much as Elena found Reno to be a blowhard know it all, he was an excellent trainer and probably would be in the game of love.

Then Elena remembered how he'd hidden a smoke grenade in her desk drawer that day and locked her office door, unbeknownst to Elena as she was up to her hips in paperwork and determined to get it done before closing time.

So instead of agreeing with Tifa that it was time to stop harassing him, she typed instead:

 _"Lorna says no. Always Get Your Man is my motto. What we have on our hands is a temporary set-back._ _I mean: who knew he was terrified of Gorillas? What kind of a stupid fear it that? We need to do something to apologize and pamper him at the same time_ "

" _With an actual pampers?_ " Tifa wrote to her.

Elena threw her head back at the idea of Reno in diapers.

" _No, I mean act like his mom and make him a nice meal. The old adage:_ _of the way to a man's heart is_ _through his stomach,_ _is true. That's how you pamper a man"_ Elena explained.

Tifa looked over to where Marlene and Denzel were giggling during their after-school snack. "If you're both done, put the dishes in the sink and go do your homework" she gently chided them.

"Yes Tifa" they said and obeyed her.

She smiled at this. " _I'm sure I can do that_ " she concurred to Lorna. She thought Elena meant that she should act like Reno's mother during the meal and treat him as she would her own children. That might have worked for your average man born into a loving, supportive family. However, Reno grew up in an orphanage run by a sadistic nun and had fought her at every turn in her treatment of him and the weaker children in her charge. So that approach was bound to fail.

Reno could only goggle at the contact his phone displaying when they called. He'd almost deleted Tifa from his contacts but decided at the last minute to rename her Crazy Bitch.

"Tifa, I told you not to bother me" he complained to her when he picked up her call against his better judgement.

"I want to do something to make up for kidnapping you...and sending the terrifying gorilla to dance for you. I would like to invite you to dinner during an evening that's convenient for you. I will personally act as your food taster to ensure nothing has been added. I'll make anything you like" she promised him.

"I'm listening" he said intrigued, he loved homemade food. "That roast beef you serve at the bar once in a while with the onion-mushroom gravy" he said, his mouth watering at the idea.

"I can made that" Tifa promised him.

"With mashed potatoes with that sharp cheese added to them?" he negotiated.

"Done" she said.

"Baby carrots on the side, real ones, not that engineered shit, served with lemon, butter and parsley" he added.

"Easy peasy" Tifa assured him. "Dessert?" She prompted him.

"Strawberry cheesecake" he told her. Have it ready for seven pm tomorrow night. We're going to be stuck in an all-day meeting and will be starving by then, negotiations are tight, so we will have had only some pizza throughout the day" Reno said, remembering the old saying about safety in numbers.

"We?" Tifa said with a frown.

"Yes, the Turks: Rude, Tseng, Elena and myself...and Rufus shall be invited if he wishes to come. We can't leave him out of a dinner invitation when he was trapped there all day with us. I assume you meant all of us. Didn't you?" Reno smoothly asked her.

"Of course, I would be happy to make food for you all" Tifa said as she did a mental calculation how much it would cost her and realized she already had everything to make the now much larger meal. Cid's cousin owned a hobby farm and was forever giving him farm fresh stuff as there was too much for his small family to eat and Cid gave most away. As for the roast, Vincent had accidently plowed down a cow in his first and last attempt to learn how to drive. He'd paid the farmer a really generous price for the cow and the kindly man had butchered it and turned over the meat to him. Vincent didn't even have a freezer, so he'd given it all to Tifa to put in her walk-in freezer and came and enjoyed meals on the house when he felt social.

"Great, we'll bring the wine; we like to drink a lot after meetings. See you then" he said with a smile in his voice and rang off.

Tifa hung up and contemplated who she'd just invited to dinner. They were not only her ex-enemies but she didn't really know them any more than she did Reno. They were secretive people, who seemed to keep to themselves even when out in public. They were all regulars of her bar and were polite but hardly forth coming with any personal information. Elena was the most outgoing of the bunch and Tifa had tried to invite her to girl's night but she seemed more interested in gazing at Tseng, Elena had politely turned her down each time.

"Of course, we'll go, it's awfully kind of Tifa to host this night for us" Tseng said, accepting the invitation for them all when Reno brought it up. Elena fumed at how Reno had managed to thwart her suggestion to Tifa and then realized it might be more interesting if she were present for it...

"Yes, I shall go, it's probably good for public relations that I appear in the home of a humble citizen" Rufus agreed without being condescending in the least.

So, with a smile a mile wide, Reno texted their RSVP to Tifa.

"It looks like the Turks are coming to dinner" she mused. "And Rufus" she corrected herself and went into her freezer to take out the largest roast she could find to thaw overnight.

The Turks, were rather intimating when they all showed up en mass at someone's door in their black uniforms, with snow white shirts and Rufus wearing the colours opposite of them. Tifa smiled and invited them in and took the various bottles of wine to decant and there was a lot of it. Reno hadn't been kidding when he had said they liked to drink after a long, boring meeting!

She'd originally planned to host it upstairs in her apartment but had to move it into her bar, closing it for the evening and pushing tables together to form a long one. Everyone soon had a drink in hand as they talked amongst themselves.

"Reno aren't you going to set the table?" She suddenly said to him and he turned a face of confusion on her.

"No, why?" He asked her.

"You should feel honoured to help me" Tifa said with gentle patience.

"Well I don't, set your own damned table!" He snapped with how the others were struggling not to laugh.

"Don't make me send me to your room without any dinner" Tifa threatened and then realized she'd gone too far.

"I don't live here" he reminded her. "And you have no right to..." He added.

"Set the damned table!" Tseng told him and Reno sulked but did and Tifa rearranged everything he placed down to suit a proper table setting, clearly the Turk didn't know how to.

"I fixed a Strawberry Electric Dreamboat for you" she said, taking it from her fridge and setting it before him and everyone had a look at the gay looking drink...and burst out laughing. He went as red as the drink.

"Tifa, I don't want..." He hissed.

"I made it especially for you, you will drink it and be grateful. I know it's your favourite" she insisted with her hands on her hips, she looked the very model of a female authority figure and he resented this.

"What does this even taste like?" Rude said taking a sip and making a hum of appreciation. "That's good" he said smacking his lips.

"Really? Let me try" Tseng and it was passed around and then they were all requesting them.

"it takes twenty minutes to make one" Tifa softly protested.

"We'll wait" Rufus answered on behalf of them all and she made them up until it was time to serve dinner.

They had all settled in when she barked at Reno to help her serve, he opened his mouth to refuse when Rufus insisted he do it, overriding any objection Reno might have had. So, he again sulked when he helped her and sulked even further when she told him to wash his hands.

Elena was beyond amused how Tifa had interpreted her advice about how to mother Reno, that is if Reno were a much younger child of hers, rather than a full-grown man. She could feel the waves of resentment coming from him at each order she issued him, that Tseng or Rufus would back up as if enjoying seeing Reno squirm like this.

However, everyone was drinking copiously but Tifa and the Turks were soon much more relaxed and started sharing stories with her.

"What was Reno like as a new recruit?" She asked Tseng. The normally expressionless man laughed.

"For his first mission, I swear he almost pissed his pants when he went up against this little, petite teenager. Female that is" he said in amusement that caused Reno to flush.

"She had a huge gun trained on me" he protested.

"Which proved to be a harmless potato gun she'd made for her science fair project and the only reason why she trained it on you was because you went to the wrong address. So, her father called the police and our hero here almost went to jail with potato juice spattered all over his new uniform, until we stepped in a cleared the whole thing up" Tseng finished.

Tifa tried not to laugh, she really tried to but Reno's almost pouting expression made it come roaring out of her.

"Then there was the time he forgot where he left the helicopter" Elena chimed in.

"How do you lose an entire helicopter?" Tifa couldn't help asking him.

"It was a very foggy day" he said defensively. "I'm sure Tifa doesn't want to hear all these old stories" he objected.

"No, I think this is great. I gather Reno's quite the lady's man" she teased him.

Everyone around him seemed to be biting their lips against their laughter. "He was quite the lady man for a while there when we were short of female agents to poise as couples with us, we lost a lot of them after the former President Shinra met his untimely demise. Goddess rest his soul" Tseng added glancing at Rufus.

"May he be roasting in hell" Rufus added.

"Don't you dare tell her about..." Reno cried.

Tseng just ignored him and turned to Tifa, "Reno as you might have realized, is almost pretty enough to pass as a woman and with some padding in the right places and a flattering dress, Renotta was born" Tseng explained to her

"You used to cross dress?!" Tifa said with a chuckle.

"Only on duty and that was a long time ago" Reno snapped, feeling that the idea of bringing his support network along to thwart any strange behaviour on Tifa's part had been an extremely bad idea.

"Fuck you guys" he murmured and wish he'd asked his ride to arrive a whole lot sooner as each story got progressively worse with each drink people took.

"You still have that gold lame number? Perhaps you can wear it for your twenty-sixth birthday and I'll take you out?" Rude said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Reno and he blushed while everyone erupted in loud guffaws.

Reno was relieved when he got a text that his ride was there.

"Well, my ride's here. I have to go" he said standing up.

"But don't you want to help me wash the dishes?" Tifa said, following him out.

"No, I don't like being ordered around like a slave by the way, no man does" he stated to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry" she said.

"Tifa, seek help" he said as he looked at her in an exasperated way.

"I already am seeing a therapist" she ventured.

"Give me his information so I can make certain I never go to him" Reno said as he opened the door and identical twins stood there; gorgeous blonde twins wearing matching very little.

"Hi Reno..." One of them said.

"…...are you ready to go?" The other finished.

"Hello friend of Reno's, I'm Luna..." The one on the right said.

"…..and I'm her sister Lana" the one of the left finished.

"I'm Tifa. You're both so pretty, are you models?" Tifa asked them.

"No, Super Models but we get that all the time" Lana volunteered.

"Thanks for noticing" Luna said with a kind smile.

"Ladies, I just need to get my over coat" Reno said to them.

"Which one it your date?" Tifa asked him when she got it for him.

"Both" he explained.

"Luna or Lana?" Tifa asked him, certain she was hearing things.

"They like to share, so both" Reno reiterated.

"How does that work?" Tifa asked before she could stop herself and her face flamed as her brain supplied that answer.

"Very well. Thanks for the dinner party it was very..." He said and couldn't think of anything to add. "However, it is your duty as to hostess to make sure all of your guests are having fun and not allow them to heap abuse on one person" he added critically. Then she realized that her attempt at pampering him had been a dismal failure...and he was to go on literally a double date and leaving her with a bar full of drunken Turks...and Rufus.

She shut the door after him when he left with a girl on each arm and returned to her other guests. "Tifa, you have a karaoke machine, can we turn it on?" Tseng asked her.

"Go for it" she said.

"Great dinner party, would you be interested in hosting more after all day meetings?" Rufus asked her. "I'll pay you for them" he offered.

She felt rather sad that she hadn't managed to get Reno to agree to help her and rather _jealous_ at the same time as she listened to Tseng and Rufus doing a duet to Paradise by the Dashboard Light, with Tseng singing the female part in a falsetto. Elena was obvious feeling no pain as she drunkenly danced, she'd tied her now unbuttoned shirt just under her breasts and was lashing a gyrating Rude on the butt with her tie. Tifa sighed, it looked like a very long night when she longed just to have bath and crawl into bed.


	6. Chapter 6

MAKE HIM JEALOUS

Tifa was getting sick of Reno's aversion to her trying to win his help and of Lorna's advice, that only seemed to make things worse. So, she decided to take matters into her own hands and make one final attempt.

She didn't ask for Lorna's opinion this time, nor for anyone's, which had she, they would all have told her it was an extremely bad idea. If they hadn't forbidden her outright.

She had only heard of the place but had never been, as no respectable woman would. It was a well-known biker's bar located in an extremely sketchy part of town.

Tifa didn't know what to wear and choose something that was once a costume that she'd wore to a BDSM night that she'd dragged Cloud to, thinking perhaps, it would help if they expanded their sex life.

It had been an epic failure. Cloud had been extremely uncomfortable in his leather shorts and had almost every gay male there flock to him, offering do to things to him, half of which he didn't know what they were. Tifa, in her leather booty short and extremely short leather vest had received similar attention from the straight males there. They'd soon fled for their home and had an extremely uncomfortable ride home in a cab.

She donned this outfit again and looked at herself, the shorts rose ridiculously high on her buttocks, showing _a lot_ of her firm bottom. The vest not only pushed up her natural abundance but revealed the sort of cleavage a starving baby would weep for. She shrugged and decided she would have to do. She took a deep breath and called for an uber.

The bar looked promising and she could tell it wasn't the sort of place anyone would want a woman to be. Perfect! The building was made of rough unfinished wood and had a neon sigh in the picture window that read "Cockjunkies".

The evidence that it was a rough biker bar was apparent from all the motorcycles parked outside. Two men fighting spilled out of doorway just as she arrived, this gave her pause but she entered it anyway. It was then that it was like the piano player stopped playing as everything went silent as they stared at the barely dressed and extremely well-endowed female.

Tifa gave the smile she thought was sexy, but was in fact a little off putting and said "hi does anyone want to buy me a drink?"

However, the bikers didn't care and set about getting her drunk and she soon was.

Reno was halfway through a meeting when he got a notification for a video call.

"Reno, I thought I told you to turn off your cell phone" Tseng chided him.

"Sorry, my ladies don't like it when they can't reach me" he apologized with a cocky grin; the sort of grin you would love to drive a brick into.

"Sorry, I have to take this... " and then noticed it was from Crazy Bitch and accidently hit the accept button when he meant to hit the reject button.

"Reno...I'm done with you" she slurred.

"Tifa...what are you doing? Why are you bothering me?" He asked her.

"Oh, is that Tifa, ask her if she ordered that karaoke song for me" Tseng said.

"Do you know where I am?" She slurred at him.

"No, I don't monitor your movements...anymore as you're no longer a threat to President Shinra. Just to my sanity. You look like you're drunk. I suggest you call a cab and go home and sleep it off and stop bothering me" Reno suggested and was about to hang up.

"I'm in Cockjunkies and this large man says he's going to bend me over the pool table and fuck my ass" she said turning her phone on her companion, who had a scar on his face, had a mohawk and wore only a vest over the rippling muscles of his torso. He smiled and waved at the redhead on the screen wearing a perplexed expression.

"I'm doing her in the asshole as soon as she hangs up the phone" he told him.

"What?" Reno said, certain he was hearing incorrectly.

"And then all of these other gentlemen are going to take their turns" Tifa said, panning around them and they waved to. "What do you think of that idea; Mr. I'm-Too-Busy-Screwing-Everything-To-Help-Tifa?" She slurred at him. "Wait, what are you guys going to do to me?" She said in confusion as her mind forced through the haze of alcohol to reality.

"Why is Tifa in Cockjunkies? I never told her to..." Elena said and caught herself.

"Told her to what?" Reno asked her and then Elena put her head beside his and everyone soon joined in.

"Hi Tseng, I got that song for you. Hi Elena. Hi Rude. Does being fucked up the ass hurt?" Tifa asked them.

"Only if you clench..." Rude said before he could stop himself. The rest just looked at him incredulously. "I used to have a girlfriend who loved it" he stammered to the incredulous looks he was getting from the others as he blushed.

"Put their leader on the phone" Reno demanded as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He knew he would have to charge in and rescue her and didn't like it, he was no one's hero and never claimed to be. He was the rare combination of being a lover _and_ a fighter. He liked his relationships simple and uncomplicated and didn't stay with a single woman for long. However, what he was staring at was a **huge** obsessive complication.

"Which one of you gentlemen is your gang leader?" She slurred, happily oblivious to the danger she was in again.

"Me" someone said off screen.

"He wants to talk to you..." She slurred and handed the person her phone.

Reno could only stare in shock at the other redhead "Rod?!" He exclaimed.

"Reno? Oh for the love of. How have you been?" He asked him.

"You're running a motorcycle gang again?" Reno asked him.

"I got bored of the civilian life after I retired and killed the leader and took over. I run it all; weapons, women and drugs. It's a sweet life and a lucrative one. Hey we got to get together and get caught up. I'm married now, you have to come over and meet my old lady. She makes killer waffles and can fuck your eyeteeth off, well mind that is. We're completely monogamous. Speaking of old ladies. Is this woman yours?" He asked his old friend.

"She's not really...she's kinda...it's complicated. Could you just make sure nothing happens to her until I come get her?" He asked him.

"Sorry dude's this lady's the property of a Turk" he announced and the other men groaned and Reno blushed. "I'll babysit her like I would my own baby sister" he promised him.

"I've got to..." He apologized to the others.

"Just go" Tseng said.

"Well it looks like you're tied down to Tifa" Elena remarked with a fiendish gloat.

"What do you mean by that. What did she tell you?" Reno demanded.

"I didn't mean anything by it. I guess you're honour _bound_ to go rescue her" she innocently said, Reno gave her a sharp look at this and let it go.

"See you all soon" Reno said, finding it weird that he had to go rescue a damsel in distress.

Rod got Tifa some water and told his men she was off limits, much to their derision as they wanted to see if her tits were real. So, he tried to engage her in conversation and asked about her personally and was treated to a drunken slurring rendition of a seriously boring life that mimicked his own spent with a happy wife and three children.

Rod encouraged his men to bang drunk chicks as it was good for them to blow off steam, but he didn't join his men in their gangbangs.

His wife was a dancer he had met at a bar, not a stripper, merely a go-go dancer. She'd had the kindest and most innocent smile he'd ever encountered and was a farm girl who had left home to become a model. She'd ended up in the dead part of town dancing for tips and half price staff drinks and he could tell she was going to end up either in the beds of her clients or on the slab of a morgue and didn't want to see the innocence in her smile gone as she faded over time. So, he'd taken her to the nearest ATM in his drunken state and given her more than enough to get home on the bus and thought he'd never see her again.

However, she showed up the next day at his chapter house to return it, telling him she couldn't take advantage of a drunken man and this virtuous act had won him over after years of seeing only the worst of humanity. He'd invited her in for coffee and taken her into his heart. She wasn't so innocent anymore and knew what he did for a living but knew that he had his own morals and didn't judge him. It was her loving hand that guided him in life and business and he knew instantly that Jasmine would like Tifa.

Tifa proudly showed him the photos of her kids and his eyes fell on the redheaded boy and smirked in a way Reno would, seriously, they almost could have been twins!

"Well it seems that Mr. Second-In-Command has a lot to answer for" he mused.

"Huh?" Tifa asked him. "Denzel really loves Rugby" she slurred.

Reno slouched into the bar like the owned it, glaring in challenge at anyone who tried to stop him and smirking for all he was worth. He looked every inch a bad ass and that act was promptly killed when Tifa started calling to him and waving her arms at him.

He walked over, trying to salvage as much of his air of mystery he could and she got up and declared "I'm so sick of you" as she wavered before him.

"You have a funny way of...what the hell are you wearing?" He demanded and took off his jacket and draped it around her and caught her when she stumbled.

Rod smirked at this gesture as it confirmed what he'd suspected, not knowing that Reno was exasperated with the woman beyond measure and didn't need her exposure making him horny to boot.

"Mr. Sinclair, it seems you have been keeping secrets" Rod purred by way of greeting.

"Sinclair. Is that your..." Tifa slurred and he took her face and pressed it into his shoulder, nearly smothering her. He needed to get them both out of that bar, he knew that he could trust Rod but could see that his men still hungered for Tifa and felt an aura of frustration that the rough and violent men there had been denied their live sex show. Reno doubted he could take them all on and if he lost, Tifa would most likely get raped and he would be forced to take a turn with her. This was normally done to insult her man further after they made a whore of his woman.

"Hush, we'll talk later. I see you met Tifa" Reno said with a sigh.

"Yes and she showed me pictures of her kids, the little girl obviously favours her mother for her brunette beauty but the little boy is a ginger who looks _a lot_ like someone I know. I suggest you have a seat so we can have a little talk" Rod said, tapping his fingers together in satisfaction.

Reno wasn't just a pretty face, he had a mind like a cracking whip and knew what Rod meant right away and knew it wasn't a suggestion. He was rather puzzled as neither child looked like him but he decided to play along with Rod's assumption and sat down in the seat Tifa had vacated and pulled her territorially into his lap. "Yes, they're mine and so is she" he declared.

"What...but Denzel and Marlene are..." Tifa slurred and Reno did the only thing he could think of to silence her and kissed her silly. Tifa seemed shocked at first and then her arms snaked around him and she started kissing him back with such naked hunger that he found himself shocked and blushing at how it was arousing him. He broke it off and faced Rod.

"My woman's no slut, we got in a bad fight and she wanted to make me jealous by coming here to prove to me that other men still find her desirable. she read about this place in yelp and is wearing something she borrowed" he declared, publicly claiming her.

"You and Cloud's woman, that's something all right. Yes, I remember her from back in the day" Rod mused. "I don't see no wedding ring on either of you" he said.

"That's because we're not..." Tifa declared and Reno kissed her again and his cheeks flamed when she slipped her hands into his unbuttoned shirt and started groping his chest.

"Tifa...dearest, save that for the bedroom when we get home" he chided her, taking her hands from him.

"Kiss me again, it feels soooooo good" she slurred.

"We're not _actually_ married; we live together and co-parent" Reno explained, ignoring the amorous woman in his lap.

"I'm sorry, this woman gave birth to two of your children and you don't got the decency to marry her?" Rod said, offended on Tifa's behalf.

"Cloud didn't either..." Tifa slurred indignantly and was silenced with another kiss.

"Don't talk about your ex" Reno reprimanded her in a way that he thought was convincing, his relationship skills were very rusty and didn't really remember what jealousy felt like.

"Tifa knows I'm not into marriage and accepted it, she's my wife in every way that counts though" Reno said, feeling offended. "And she knows I l-love her" he said forcing the words out even when they felt foreign on his tongue.

"Oh Reno you..." Tifa declared and was silenced with another kiss.

"That's so typical of you. If you knock a woman up, you take her before a priest" Rod lectured him.

"Just because you married a woman you knocked up doesn't gives you the right to judge our lifestyle" Reno snapped while ignoring Tifa, who was trying to kiss him again and still her hands from trying to grope him.

"I was already married when my wife conceived our first kid. How dare you suggest that _that_ is the only way I would have married Jasmine!" Rod snapped back. "I love my wife more than you'll ever your fake wife!"

"I love Tifa more than you could ever..." Reno spat back.

"Reno, please" Tifa broke in, trying to capture his face to bring it back to her own but he kept dodging her efforts as he talked to Rod. She didn't really want him, she was just drunk and horny and starved for any form of loving. It had been a long time since she and Cloud had made love and Reno's kisses enthralled her, she didn't remember being so excited by a mere kiss before.

"Later...baby" he chided her trying to placate the horny Tifa before he was forced to take her in front of the crowd as everyone seemed to be watching the way she was acting with glittering eyes.

"Look, my woman is wanting me and I need to take her home" Reno snapped in challenge.

"If she's truly your woman, I say you should buy her white dress and rose bouquet and marry her" Rod said.

"Lilies, she likes lilies" Reno corrected him. "Can we go?" He coldly asked him and was shocked again when Tifa managed to capture his head and pulled him into a heated kiss that seemed to sear the very air around them. Then she hurriedly leaned over and puked all over his boots, much to his disgust.

"Okay but take my card and give me a call. We have a barbeque every Sunday and I'm sure my kids would like to meet yours. We can even arrange a playdate. Take her out of here and take her to bed, you stud, you" Rod said with a fond smile at them both. "It looks like number three might be conceived tonight" he announced.

"Er...we can only hope" Reno said and simply picked Tifa up and carried her from the bar.

"I ought to kill you, they would never find your body" Reno bitched as he helped Tifa into the passenger seat of his black SUV company car and fastened her seatbelt and then wiped down his boots with a rag and threw it in the trash. He went and got a bucket that he carried in his trunk for practical reasons and handed it to her. She moaned and took it. "If you're going to be sick again, get sick into this, I just had the carpets replaced-again" he explained to her and she leaned back against the seat with a groan and he carefully drove her home.

"Why won't you help me?" She moaned.

"Help you how?" He asked her and looked at her, but she had passed out.

"Well that was helpful" he observed as he pulled into her parking lot and through bullying her and supporting her, he managed to get her upstairs to her apartment and easily unlocked her door with her draped over his shoulder.

He dumped her on the bed without preamble and she moaned at this. "I guess you still put your nightgown under your pillow" he guessed, he'd been in her place to search it many times and knew it like the back of his hand. He lifted it up and found her pink nightie there.

"Now let's get you out of that outfit" he said, undoing the snaps of her top and averted his eyes from her half nudity as he drew her nightie over her head and covered her from his prying eyes. Her shorts, or lack thereof, he undid under the skirt of her nightie and drew them down firm thighs, leaving whatever she had beneath still there for her to deal with. Not that there could be much of anything.

"There, now go to sleep" he said, pulling the blankets over her and positioning her on her side. He looked around her place for the first time and realized everything belonging to Cloud was gone and finally understood it was over between them. Of course, he knew about Cloud and his other women and how he'd met his fiancée.

He was the delivery boy that handled the important packages personally for the secure lab and had attracted the attention of the owner's daughter. Her Daddy could never resist spoiling his little girl and got her a date with the delivery CEO. The millions of gils she was worth turned his head as much as her shy quiet beauty and he became engaged to the second most wealthy bachelorettes on Gaia, guaranteeing him a good job and a wife who reminded him of Aerith so much that he fell for her hard.

Reno took a second to push her hair back and looked at Tifa. She was certainly attractive and kind, even back in the day when they were on opposite sides, she was usually the first one he would wake up to as she bandaged his wounds. Avalanche never left wounded people lying about, he would give them that.

He would have made a play for her a long time ago if she'd shown any interest in him, at least before and certainly not now when she was acting bat shit crazy.

"You poor little idiot, love really does drive you crazy. But I know that, I too have felt love's sting and it hurts like a bitch. You can't hear me, so I will tell you about her. She was a rich man's daughter looking for kicks and literally slumming. I thought I was as tough as nails until I met her and she slew me, not literally. She was beautiful and sophisticated and I was a street rat. I was sixteen and thought she hung the moon. Yeah I know, stupid expression. I suppose it was more like puppy love but I wasn't a virgin and neither was she, but being with her, I mean being in her physical presence, not just boning her was...magical. I'm _really_ glad you didn't hear me say that. I was willing to give it all up, my gang, my way of life: everything if she would be with me. I would have flipped burgers for a living is she would have stayed with me. But she didn't, she already had a rich bitch boyfriend. He was replaced by another and then another and she married the third one. She now has three kids she don't have to take care of while they are with their nanny and she's off globetrotting. I entered into the Turks training program and they highly "encouraged" us to keep things causal in the relationship department 'cause you normally exit the Turks in a body bag and they didn't have to ask me twice. There were broads with lots of dough wanting my attention and I gave it to them. Hell, I'm the gift that keeps on giving" he declared in a slightly louder voice filled with satisfaction. "Things are different now with the Turks, there's are a lot less of us and Rufus introduced family benefits to our benefits package. Which is stupid, none of us are even married" he softly said. "Sleep well. I'll be back in the morning with a hangover cure for you and we are going to talk. I'll lock up after myself. I'm lucky you never changed the lock" he softly said and flicked off the lights after himself and locked himself out.

Tifa's eyes opened into the calm blackness as her drunken mind processed the information of Reno's confession. Reno had been in love and was capable of being in a monogamous relationship? Wait, did his family benefits cover preexisting children adopted by one of the people in the couple or just the ones born from the couple? "I really must be drunk" she moaned dismissively and passed out.

Tifa woke up to gorgeous sunshine as it streamed through her window and the sweet chirps of morning birds...and ran for the washroom. She was still moaning in there when Reno politely knocked on the door and let himself in, instinctively knowing he would find her in either the bathroom or bedroom. Sure enough, he found her curled up in a ball on the cool tiles of the washroom moaning for someone to put her out of her misery.

Reno laughed, a sound that made her wince. He helped her sit up and put a thermos to her lips. "Drink this down in one swallow and you'll feel better in a few minutes, but don't ask what's in it. Believe me, you don't want to know" he cautioned her.

She looked blandly at him, her face was ashen and pinched looking but did what he told her, something he never would as he didn't trust anyone. However, somehow, she trusted him as she threw it back and winced at the foul taste, she thought it would come back up again and scrambled for the toilet but it did stay down. "It tastes like three skunks dipped in diarrhea" she complained.

He laughed and impulsively kissed her on the forehead, "that's why it works. Now take a shower and get dressed; I'm making you a good greasy breakfast to clear up any lingering effects. I brought everything I need" Reno explained when she followed him to the kitchen where he'd already placed the grocery bags and took off his black windbreak. He wore a white t-shirt beneath and she couldn't help examining his rather snug black jeans, they weren't skinny jeans, but fit well in all the right places and she blushed when she found herself staring at his butt and averted her eyes. She leaned in the doorway as he comfortably moved around her kitchen, obviously he'd been there before as he didn't have to ask the location of everything. She watched for a few minutes as he dropped bacon into the pan after flicking water drops on it to make sure they sizzled, diced up potatoes and onions for home fries and opened a container of eggs. Seeing he had everything in hand, she went and did as he had suggested.

She returned to the tempting aromas of coffee and breakfast being cooked. Reno was just plating up everything and gestured for her to sit down as he put the plate and cup of coffee before her. She looked down and somehow knew it wasn't a coincidence that he knew she liked her eggs over easy. "You still take your coffee double double?" He asked her and she nodded. He then sat opposite her as it their breakfasting together was an everyday occurrence and drank his own coffee black and his eggs were sunny side up.

"I didn't know you could cook" she said digging into her food with gusto.

"You're looking at the extent of my culinary skills" he replied. "Now do you want to explain what your coo coo for cocoa puffs act is all about?" He politely asked her.

Tifa took a deep breath and explained.

He listened with a frown on his elegant features. "It sounds like this Lorna is no friend to you" he commented. "If it's just a matter of sex, we can go to the bedroom right now. I did offer when you tied me up and attempted to bore me to death. It's not rape if the person offered" he pointed out.

"No, I just want relationship help from you. You're not my type" she took him.

He felt rather insulted at this. "Am I not blonde enough, muscular enough or moody enough for you?" He coldly inquired.

"No you're attractive but you're not exactly...discerning when it comes to your bed partners" she explained as discreetly as possible.

"So, you think I'm a slut?" He concluded.

"There's nothing wrong with you being...popular but I need someone who only wants to be with me" she honestly told him.

Reno bit his tongue against a retort informing her that Cloud hadn't been that _discerning_ either. Reno wondered if underneath all that cheerfulness, if Tifa had been willfully blind to Cloud's conquests. Had she made herself ignore the scent of a woman's perfume on him when she wore none, ignored the fingernail marks on his back?

"I'll help you, you clearly need it. But you have to do everything I say...within reason, I know coitus is off the table" he said to her sharp look. "And no more taking advice from Lorna, she's obviously crazed" he admonished her and Tifa nodded. "Well I have the day off, is yours fairly free?" He asked her.

"I don't open the bar on Sundays and Denzel and Marlene are on vacation with Cid and Shera" she explained.

"Then let's get started. We'll start with the basics. There is a time and a place to wear a cocktail dress and six am in front of some drycleaners isn't it. If you're wearing a cocktail dress at that time, chances are you wouldn't need my help because you're doing the walk of shame from your lover's bed" he explained and she blushed at this. "Looking your best means: just practicing good hygiene and wearing something flattering, like what you have on now" he complimented her. She wore a pair of snug black capris pants and some kind of sleeveless red top that was loose and folded and followed the length of her sculpted torso in a flattering way. The result was feminine and summery at the same time.

"Now when it comes to jewelry, it is fine to fiddle with it lightly to draw attention to your... natural endowments, but you don't have to strangle yourself with it. As for your forced giggle, for the love of humanity; don't _ever_ make that sound again" Reno lectured and Tifa frowned in confusion at this...


	7. Chapter 7

"I think we covered the basics. Now try to give me a provocative smile again" Reno ordered her and Tifa tried her best but he burst out laughing. "You look constipated" he commented.

"I'm trying my best" she said with a blush.

"It's okay, we'll get you there. Now if we're going to do this, we both have to be open and honest with each other and not let gender issues get in the way. You've already told me that you're not interested in sleeping with me and I'm fine with that" he concluded.

"I'm sure you have enough women to keep you...satisfied" Tifa remarked.

"Women like me" he answered, "even drunk women who try and suck my fillings out of my teeth" he said with a smirk.

"I didn't mean for that to happen. You kissed me!" She defensively said.

"I was trying to shut you but, now I'm going to have to ask you some personal questions. I hope that's okay?" he said and she warily nodded.

"I take it that it's been a while since you rode the pink toboggan?" He asked her.

"Rode the pink toboggan?" She said and now it was her turn to laugh. "What sort of a euphemism is that?"

"I was trying to be delicate. Fine, I take it it's been a while since you fucked?" He said.

"Made love" Tifa coldly corrected him and looked at him like she would Denzel when he was being naughty.

"Made love then. It's the same damn thing" Reno snapped.

"Fucking: is just an exchange of bodily fluids. Making love: is a communion of bodies, hearts and souls. You would know the difference if you had made love to anyone, rather than shamelessly rutting them" Tifa primly admonished him in a way that made him roll his eyes at her.

"So, it _has_ been a while. That leads to my second question. Birth control. What type to you use?" He asked her.

"Don't you think that question is a little personal?" She huffed.

"You're in the dating field again. You need to think about these things. Answer my question" Reno ordered her.

"I was on the pill for a while" she stammered.

"Bravo, you're going back on them pronto. But you need to get condoms as well and use them concurrently to prevent STD. Not everyone had mako shots and is immune to them. You need to be careful" he lectured her.

"I'm not a child" she said.

"When was the last time you bought any?" He asked her.

"Never" she admitted.

"Get your coat, we need a change of scenery and need to go to a drug store. I'll treat you to dinner while we're at it, since I made breakfast and you provided me with lunch."

Tifa could only stare at the varieties in front of her, she had had no idea there were so many different types. She blushed as she studied them. "I don't know which ones are good" she whispered to Reno.

"Avoid ribs, they're good for a barbeque but not for fu-making love" he corrected himself. "Here, these ones actually allow a man a _bit_ of sensation and will most likely fit your average man. Which wouldn't be me" he said with a smirk, tossing them into her basket.

"You expect me to buy these?" She protested.

"I'm not suggesting you shoplift them. You have to get used to buying them, not every man brings his own" he said.

"Could you buy these for me?" She stammered aghast.

"I'll meet you at the front of the store. Just put them on the counter as you would any item. The cashier won't care or notice them most likely" he said and strolled away from her, leaving a glowing Tifa in his wake. She tried to act causal as she followed him and put other objects into her basket to mask them a bit. She put them on the checkout counter along with everything else as casually as possible.

Reno had been right as the cashier started ringing her items through in a professional manner after giving Tifa a bright smile, her name tag read "Rosie" and looked to be the cheerful granny sort, straight down to her red tinted cat eye glasses. However, she frowned when she got to the condoms and scanned them.

"It there something wrong?" Tifa whispered to her.

"I'm pretty sure these are on sale. "Price check on cash three" she paged to the grocery department.

"No, it's okay. I'll pay the full price" Tifa stammered.

"It's no trouble dear" Rosie assured her as a teenager wearing a smock came to her. "Aren't Deep Cover Condoms on sale this week?" She loudly asked him before the other customers and he smirked at the blushing Tifa and assured her he would check. He returned a few long minutes later while Reno snickered while he waited for her and Rosie kept assuring Tifa that her co-worker would be right back, while Tifa wished the ground would swallow her where she stood.

"They're reduced by five gils this week" he told Rosie.

"There you go dear. Aren't you glad I caught that? Every gil count in this economy" Rosie said as she gaily rang up Tifa's final purchase and the other clients looked from her to the chortling Reno and cast him knowing looks of bemusement.

"Yes, thanks a lot" she muttered.

"There, that wasn't so bad" Reno declared.

"Go make love to yourself" Tifa shot back.

"Not with those tiny condoms" he said, his sense of humour having a field day.

Reno took Tifa to his favourite Wutaian place and greeted the waiter in his own language.

"Hey Reno, I like the looks of what you brought here tonight. Man are those tits real? You really got the pick of the litter. With those lips, I bet she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose..." Zhang said.

Tifa had been studying the menu and put it down. "Yes, they are and it's rude to talk about people in a different language and assume they can't understand. Now kindly go get a bottle of Saki and two glasses. I wouldn't count on getting much of a tip from us" Tifa said in the same language when she lowered her menu and turned stern eyes on their errant waiter.

"You speak Wutaian?" Reno said in the same language when the stammering and blushing Zhang had departed to get their drink order.

"As do you" Tifa said quirking a single eyebrow at him.

"I learned because I have an ear for languages and sometimes have had to disguise myself as a Wutaian man. I have the right eye shape and facial structure to pass: so some dark contacts, a dark wig and some makeup and I'm good to go" Reno explained.

"Why not just have Tseng take on those mission?" Tifa asked him.

"He asks me to take them on" Reno said with a shrug. "Now where did you learn the language?"

"Yuffie and I were often in each other's company back in the day and there was little to do, so I asked her to teach it to me" Tifa explained.

"My dad said your dinner is on the house. Sorry about that" Zhang apologized when he returned with a stern looking couple.

"It's okay but you should be more respectful of women" Tifa sternly said.

The woman gave her son a cuff on the back of the head. "Yes, you should" she lectured him and they bowed and left.

"Well that you're pretty is a plus. Now we just have to work on your social skills a bit" Reno said. "Let's do a little role playing. I'll pretend I'm a guy you're trying to chat up. I'm an attractive brunette as you don't seem to like redheads" he said and she shot him a baleful look at this.

"Tell me something interesting about yourself" he said to her in a sexy voice.

"I'm ovulating" Tifa said after a hesitation.

Reno actually physically reared back from this. "Whoa, that's the _last_ thing a guy wants to hear on a first date. The guy would be a blur out to door if they heard that. Don't you have any hobbies you could talk about?" He asked her.

"Nope" she answered.

"There must be something you like to do" he said.

"There is but not a lot of people like doing it" Tifa admitted.

"Colour me intrigued. Can more than one person do it together?" He asked her.

"Yes, and I know a place we can go if you want to try it" Tifa told him mysteriously.

He stood in front of the theatre, of course he had heard about The Rocky Horror Picture Show but had never been interested in going to it nor joining its cult followers. So, he felt wildly out of place amongst the cross-dressed and oddly dressed crowd and his own date had insisted on going home to change into a maid's costume, don a frizzy brown wig and put on heavily done, garish makeup.

This made no sense to Reno. He wondered who Tifa was supposed to be and why one blonde guy wore gold lame shorts. Most people seemed to know Tifa and congratulated her on her 400th time; whatever that meant. He bristled each time she introduced him as, "a virgin about to get his cherry popped" until she explained to him what this meant.

They went into the theatre where the floor was sticky from spilled soda and god knows what other liquids. The seats were repaired with duct tape but the mood was jovial as everyone took their seats and the curtain rose and a pair of lips appeared on the scene and started to sing.

It all went downhill from there as everyone flung lines at the screen and the actors burst into song between boring scenes. However, Tifa seemed to love it as she said the lines along with everyone else and then grabbed Reno's hand and pulled him in front of the screen. "What are we..." He questioned her when she showed him how to dance to The Time Warp and refused to relinquish his hand. He felt foolish but mimicked her and soon got into it and actually starting having fun.

They were both a little giddy as Tifa sang her third song in order.

"Okay you know all the lyrics to the songs" he laughed. He couldn't recall having so much fun in one evening. Was is possible that beneath her obsessive surface, Tifa was amusing to be around?

They were both a little damp from running through a sprinkler in a park they had taken a short cut through at Tifa's insistence.

"You're crazy" he said.

"You must have thought so" she said.

"Not anymore" he assured her and then said "ouch" when he accidently cut his finger on the jagged metal of a lamp post and frowned at it.

Gentle, soft hands took his own and pressed a clean napkin against his wound. Tifa fumbled in her purse and put a bandage patterned with kiss marks over Reno's cut and pressed a kiss to the sealed scratch and pressed his hand against her cheek.

"There, you're all better now" she said and then blushed when she realized what she was doing. "I'm so sorry...it's an automatic reaction with me, not with Denzel but when Marlene was much younger. You must think I'm so weird" she stammered. Reno didn't know what to say, he'd never known a mother's touch as a child, the health care workers had been standoffish. He'd never been nurtured or held as a child. He'd known a lover's touch many times over but what Tifa had done had felt so much different...

"It's okay, if it's just you being you I guess and it's not like you harmed me" he assured her.

"Are you okay?" She asked him.

"I don't think I'll need stitches but we should get you home, it's 2am after all" he said to her.

He walked her to her door. "Don't worry, I don't expect a kiss or nothing" he assured her, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I had a great time tonight. It was nice having someone to go to Rocky with, Cloud never wanted to..." She said and shut up, not wanting to talk about him anymore.

"We'll find a new guy by the time I'm done with you. A really dull brunette, family man" he assured her.

"I don't want someone boring" she said with a laugh.

Reno was surprised he wished the night wouldn't end. "So, what are you making me for dinner tomorrow night?" He asked her.

"I don't recall inviting you" Tifa said.

"You're having Martini Night and someone has to help you choose what to wear and how to actually mingle with men. Lots of single males will be there" he pointed out.

"How hot can you handle your chili?" She challenged him.

"Satan would beg for mercy from what I can handle" he bragged.

"You done work by six?" She asked him.

"I'm second-in-command; I'm done when I decide I am" he told her with a cocky smirk.

"See you tomorrow...and I never said I was partial to brunettes" she said closing the door after herself.

Reno looked at the bandage on his finger, why had Tifa's simple administrations of so minor a wound made him feel so warm inside?

"Reno if you could stop looking at your gay little bandage and pay attention to the meeting literally at hand" Tseng admonished him. Reno blushed and peeled it off and dropped it into the waste basket, actually rather sad to take it off.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey please be patient, the next few chapters shall more more like drabbles as this writer is too lazy to do multi-chapter slow burn.

Roll 'em

WATCHING THE STARS

Reno and Tifa took their first bite and both glared in challenge at each other as their faces turned red at the hot spices and both sat calmly back as they eyed their iced water.

"Oh, fuck this" Tifa said gulping hers down and was soon joined by Reno, his eyes were watering as much as hers and they laughed.

"Damn fine chili but I love the ones made with those crazy speckled pepper, they give the greatest burn. I can never find them when I go shopping" Reno complained, dabbing his eyes.

"Those are the best; I think they're from Wutai. They are hard to find" Tifa agreed.

They both continued with dinner and panted from the heat but greatly enjoyed it.

"You sure know how cook" he complimented her.

"My mother taught me. She was so kind and so beautiful" Tifa said in a wistful way.

"Then you take after her" Reno said in all sincerity. "Now let's get you dressed" Reno added, going into her closet, he felt rather sorry for her that Cloud's side was bare. Tifa was a lonely person despite being surrounded by people and he had taken to spending most of his spare time with her. It had been out of pity at first but then he did so simply because he enjoyed her company, she had a quirky sense of humour.

"Why is your wardrobe such a mix of: bartender tip goading outfits and PTA soccer Mom?" He called out to her.

"The first ones are rather obvious and the others are for when I _chair_ the PTA meetings" she explained.

"You do?" Reno asked her with a pause.

"I want Denzel and Marlene to have every advantage in life and a good education mixed with supportive care are the building blocks for a decent life" Tifa explained.

"Oh" Reno said and turned his attention back to her wardrobe, not sure what to say to that. He knew she'd adopted Denzel before she'd ever met him in person and Reno couldn't fathom that. No one had ever wanted to adopt him. They would slick him up on adoption day and other kids would go to happy homes while he just got older and more cynical. That's probably why he couldn't stand to wear a suit up to dress code.

He finally pulled out a black dress "wear this" he said to her.

She got changed into it and came out and Reno was surprised by his reaction to her appearance, the dress was figure hugging without being skin tight. It was softly feminine and flowed down her beautiful body just right. It was low cut but had a sheer mesh overlay that fastened to a small black collar and cuffs high on her arms.

"Do I look okay?" She asked him, giving him a shy smile.

"You look beautiful" he told her.

They didn't spend much time together as Tifa was busy getting people their drink orders but he had brought along miniature walkie talkies that allowed them to communicate. "Do you see anything you like?" He asked her.

"The guy in the gray coat is cute" Tifa said.

Reno glanced at him "he's married; you can see the tan brand from his wedding ring that he's taken off" he informed her.

"Oh, well screw him. The guy in glasses is attractive in a bookish sort of way" Tifa informed him.

"The four eyed geek? That's what gets your motor running? He looks like an accountant" Reno said dismissively.

"Looks aren't everything. I want someone who has a stable job" Tifa explained.

"He looks like he would bore you to death, he probably collects stamps and will endlessly talk about them" Reno told her.

"Then that will give us something to do on a Friday night" Tifa shot back.

"Okay give him a look of interest" Reno told her.

"How do you do that?" She asked him.

"Watch what I'm doing. You see that blonde over there?" he said and stared at her with his body slightly inclined.

"All you're doing is looking at her. She's not going to notice..." Tifa said and her voice trailed off as the blonde looked up and caught his look, she giggled and said something to her friends and then gave him a wink.

"See, she caught my look and accepted me, all I would have to do to cement our deal is to go over there" Reno explained.

"Well aren't you going to her?" Tifa asked him.

"Nope, let's pretend you're a new agent that I'm training. I have to be here to monitor your progress as it's my job" he explained. "Besides, you need all the help you can get" he added. "Now give him that look" Reno ordered her and she tried and Glasses actually stood up walked towards her.

"He's coming over, what should I do?" She hissed at Reno.

"if you were any other woman, I'd suggest making a flirtatious remark. In your case, just introduce yourself" Reno advised.

"Hi I'm Tifa" she said.

"I'm Doctor Timothy Anderson" he introduced himself.

"Oooh you're a doctor" Tifa said in a strangled sounding voice that had Reno face palming his head.

"I'm an optometrist. The way you were looking at me makes me suspect you might be myopic. Please consider giving my office a call to arrange for an eye test" he said, giving her his card and leaving. Reno was roaring with laughter while she limply held it.

Later

"Tifa if a person says he's had a vasectomy; it means he wants to know your position on bareback riding. Which is negative by the way. He doesn't want to have children, he's gone out of his way to make sure that doesn't happen. Therefore, he doesn't want to hear that you already _have_ two brats to bring into any potential relationship" Reno explained when her latest attempt at seduction all but bolted from her.

"I could _never_ be with anyone who doesn't accept my children" she bristled.

"Yes, they shall have to but you might _not_ want to mention it in the first sentence you say to a guy" Reno explained to her.

"We'll see about that..." Tifa said.

"Excuse me" a very attractive brunette said.

"Hi I'm Tifa, I just got out of a common law marriage and I have two adopted children and own this bar" Tifa spat at him.

"That's...nice. Do you have a phone I can use? I need to remind my husband to take his medication. He always forgets" he replied, smiling politely at her.

"In my office; through those doors to your right" she said as she blushed.

"Thanks" he said.

"Smooth, very smooth. Have you given him a head start before you join him at the altar? Oh that's right, he's already been there with a man" Reno commented.

"Shut up" she snapped.

The night proved a bust as everyone else hooked up and Tifa finally closed the bar.

"I give up, just go home Reno. I think I'm meant to be alone" she said as she started the dishwasher.

"Hey, we'll find you a guy. It's early yet and the fellows around here aren't used to you being on the market. They'll start lining up and you can have your pick of boring nerds" he said.

She went out onto her balcony and sat down. "I'm making you a drink" Reno said.

He brought her a whisky on ice and neat for himself and set them down on the bistro table and took the other chair.

"I don't want a boring nerd. At the end of the day; all I really want is for someone to hold my hand while I unwind after work. Is that too much to ask?"

She looked down as a long, slim hand slipped into her own and held it in a warm embrace. His thumb caressed the back of her hand as they wordless held hands and she gave his fingers a grateful squeeze as they silently sipped their drinks and gazed at the stars.

DADDY, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOUR?

Yuffie didn't find it that odd that Tifa was asking about some kind of peppers that grew at her home. However, she wasn't a cook and didn't know where to get them. So, she contacted her father and asked him to puzzle it out and a couple questions put to his chef, and he had the answer for his daughter. He summoned his head of security.

"I shall do anything you wish" Vu Woo told him with a bow as he told he was going on a mission.

"You need to pick peppers for Princess Yuffie" Godo explained.

"Peppers?" The warrior questioned in confusion.

"I don't know why but she needs them. They only grow wild along the Zhun district. I need as many as you can gather. Pay a fair price if you need to get them from a private property" Godo ordered him.

Xu could only stare at him and wondered if being Royalty meant you had a couple screws loose but went on his "mission".

"I have tons of these" Yuffie said as she took the package to Tifa.

"I can't thank you enough" Tifa exclaimed.

"It was no trouble" Yuffie told her.

LOVEY-DO

Reno was in a meeting when his PHS rang. "Reno, I told you to turn that off" Tseng told him.

"Hold on" he said answering it. "Hey Mandy" he said in a sexy voice and everyone else rolled their eyes. "I have no plans for tonight. Yeah, I know I haven't been around that much. Dinner in your bedroom? Sounds good. You still have that little pink number? Oh you plan to be the plate...can you hold on? I have another call coming in" he interrupted. "Lovey-do? Who's that?" He muttered. "Hello? Tifa, how did you change my name for you in my contacts? You need my thumbprint for that...oh you did that while I conked out watching Downton Abbey? Why Lovey-do? Yeah it is cute. No way? You're making chili with them. I'm in. When? I have no plans for tonight, I can make it. More Downton Abbey? I suppose so. Okay see you in an hour" he said. He switched over to his other call. "Sorry, I can't make it, rain check? Sounds good" he said and rang off.

"I'm sorry, you just turned down guaranteed sex for Tifa's lessons?" Tseng asked him before he could stop himself. He wasn't the sort to pry normally.

"She needs all the help she can get" Reno said and Tseng blushed when his own PHS rang.

"Hi Mandy, meeting dismissed. This is an important phone call I have to take" he explained while Elena looked at him murderously.

WATCHING YOU SLEEP

"So, who takes care of you when you're ill?" She asked him over dinner.

"I take care of myself; I don't need anyone and rarely get sick" he explained.

A Few Weeks Later

"What are you doing here?" Reno demanded when he answered the door.

"You said you weren't feeling well" Tifa said, holding a couple of grocery bags, finding his pout of indignation adorable.

"Yes, as in I want to be alone and _not_ have you show up" he grumpily said.

"You're burning up" she said, putting her hand on his forehead.

"Hence, why I was trying to sleep. It's the flu, I'll be fine in a couple days" he told her.

"Why are you wearing so many clothes? Sweating it out is useless. Come on, let's get you back to bed" she said stepping into his place without asking permission.

"I don't want you...here" he said, that he didn't want her to see him like that, was the real truth.

"Nonsense. Now take off those clothes. We need to get you comfortable" she all but ordered him.

"How much do you want me to take off?" He said with a grin.

"Boxers are fine. Let me know when you're under the covers" she said turning her back on him.

"I'm decent" he called to her.

"Just a sheet with a light blanket is all you need" she said going to retrieve a bowl of cold water and a cloth and put it on his forehead.

"Could you stop babying me" he protested while he felt warm inside against at the attention. He especially didn't like how her gentle touches felt so soothing.

"Hush, I'm here to take care of you. I'll see you through this" she said as she stroked back his sweaty hair.

"This is humiliating" he groaned after she held a basin while he puked into it and then pressed a glass of water to his lips so he could rinse out his mouth.

"There is nothing to be humiliated about" she said as she eased him back and covered him.

"Okay, you can stay but don't watch me while I sleep, that's creepy" he groaned, feeling as weak as a kitten as those soothing, insidious touches massaged vicks vapor rub onto his chest.

"Take these pills, they will help you sleep and when you wake up, we'll give you a cool bath and a backrub" she promised.

"I feel so tired" he groaned.

"Then sleep" she said and he drifted off.

"But who is going to run you bar...?" He questioned just before the world faded out.

WORST BARTENDER EVER

Vincent moved expressionlessly about the bar for martini night. "Can I take your order?" He mumbled.

"I'll take you to go" the horny receptionist said.

"I'm sorry but I'm not on the menu. Please ask for an actual drink or else I shall shoot you" he snapped.

"I'll have a tickle me pink, please don't hurt me" she pleaded.

Vincent nodded and went to go make it, wondering how Tifa had managed to talk him into watching her bar while her friend was sick...

Tifa found a fan and trained it on the feverish man and it seemed to cool him as she rinsed out the cloth and returned it to his sweaty forehead and gently stroked his hand and hummed a lullaby as she watched him sleep. His breathing was congested and his colour off but at least he was resting. She smiled at him as she continued to hum. A mother bear couldn't have watched over her ailing cub more protectively.

WE'RE THROUGH-ALMOST

Reno came over a few days later, he realized she's seen every part of him and was ashamed at how he'd clung to her in his vulnerable state, said things to her he would never admit to anyone! He knew that the lessons were over and he had to cut her out of his life, things had gone too far. He had to simplify his life and badly needed to get laid.

"Tifa thanks for everything...but" he rehearsed and then knocked on her door.

"Tifa...what the hell are you wearing?" He stammered when she wore a wedding gown.

"Oh this? I'm delivering this to a discount bridal place where I'm donating it. I don't need it anymore" she explained. "I just wanted to wear it one last time. I had always wanted to wear a dress like this and when I found it at a truck sale for dirt cheap, I had to buy it. But it's time to let it go" she said. "I never even got a picture of me in this" she mournfully said tugging at the skirt. She couldn't know that he'd never seen her looking so beautiful and longed to take her in his arms and kiss her.

"Then smile for the camera" he said, pulling her before her full-length mirror and put his arms around her and took a picture them. They looked so regal together with him in his uniform and they were literally as pretty as a picture.

"Thanks, but why did you have to be in the picture?" She asked him.

He blushed that he had no answer. "So, after you drop it off, you want to go for tacos? I know a place where they have a taco buffet. We can work on that winsome smile of yours that makes you look like you're about to have a bowel movement" he suggested.

"Let me get changed" she said and floated out looking more beautiful than Reno could ever imagine a woman looking. It seemed they were not through-yet.


	9. Chapter 9

WHAT WOULD YOU WEAR?

Reno thought about what Tifa had said about her always wanting to get married in a certain dress. "Elena, what is your dream wedding dress?" Reno asked her, interrupting yet another meeting.

"And we can forget about the intel for our newest mission and simply hear Elena's plans for her dream wedding to me. Keep dreaming" Tseng groused at the interruption. "Go ahead, we're all ears and agog to hear these dress plans. Are doves floating your veil down the aisle like in all other fairytale weddings?" He facetiously asked her.

Elena took a deep breath and her eyes became soft and unfocused "I've always been crazy about dark pink orchids. I want to have them in my hair in place of a veil and the colour added to my white dress and the veil itself. Like ribbon edging the hem and neckline, add a sash and along the veil itself. I want my shoes to match the ribbon and I'll carry a huge bouquet of them" she said in a dreamy voice.

The men were silent for a minute. "That actually sounds beauti..." Rude said.

"Unless we decide to get married in Wutai, in that case I shall have to settle for a custom kimono with them all over it" Elena added.

"That's never going to happen" Tseng retorted.

They returned to the meeting but Reno couldn't concentrate. Did all women have such specific ideas about how they would dress on their wedding days?

He decided to ask other women he knew.

Scarlet looked rather startled when Reno asked her about her fantasy wedding dress, given their causal past and his perpetual bachelor status but told him.

He noticed her face softened as she described it, like how Elena's had. "I want a full ballroom style in virgin white without a hint of other colour. I want it really demure and sexy in a very subtle way. I want a cathedral train with a full cathedral veil, with a blusher in front. I would wear hardly any makeup" she said in a dreamy voice. "As for my groom. Who cares as long as he's rich and powerful. A Turk doesn't cut it for me, especially so well used a one. No offense" she said.

Reno bit back a response about pots calling kettles black, but answered, "none taken." Quite frankly, he would sooner marry a poisonous snake and attempt to cuddle it because he doubted her groom would survive their wedding night anyway.

Yuffie didn't seem to be surprised by the question. "As royalty, I will have to marry wearing a kimono but shall have it made the same crimson colour as my groom's eyes" she said with a sigh.

Then he called a few other women.

Lola almost swooned when he asked her about her choice of wedding dress. "Mi querido, my dearest. I think it a leetle soon, but yes. I marry you" she agreed.

Reno hastily told her he wasn't asking her for _that_. He was just curious on behalf of a friend.

"You, bastardo. You ask because of a puta! You insult Lola's honour. The next time I see you, I will kill you" Lola raged as she rang off in a flurry of swear words in English, mixed with whatever language she spoke.

The others basically told him they were insulted by being banished from his bed and not interested in discussing so weird a topic and that he was dead to them...until he was back in the field again. Then please give them a call!

Reno looked at the picture he still had in his PHS of Tifa and himself. She got rid of her dress. What would she wear now? He pictured someone else in his place. Imagined him living with her, eating her cooking, him helping her raise her children and giving her more children for them to raise together. Reno felt enraged at the idea and didn't know why.

Of course she was going to find another man, someone as wonderful as her certainly would and Reno would be her...her what? What would he be to her? Would they sit around snickering at what he'd tried to teach her? Would he be invited around once in a while as an old friend and have to witness their happiness and their expanding family until he was merely an aging bachelor mailed a Christmas card once a year? Why did this disturb him so much?

THE CHALLENGE

"Are you feeling okay? You're leaving me with potato salad to take home" Tifa joked as they ate lunch in the park when she decided to surprise him with a picnic lunch.

"Huh? Sorry my mind was elsewhere" he said as he started on his third parmesan chicken breast. "Everything's delicious. Do you have a mailing list for Christmas cards?" He suddenly asked her.

"Well that was random" she said as she smiled at him.

"Forget I asked" he said rolling his eyes.

"You starting to feel under the weather again?" She asked him in concern.

"I'm fine" he assured her.

"Good because I don't like you being ill. I've gotten quite fond of you" she said quirking a smile at him that made his chest feel tight. "Remember that time I had to defend you from that gang because you dropped your rod?" She said with a chuckle.

"You only assisted me. I'm great at hand to hand combat" he insisted, happy at the change of conversation.

"You're not bad but you have to focus and make your movements tighter. You're too loose that you're all over the place and sloppy. You've obviously gotten used to depending upon your weapon" she criticized him.

"I have not, I could kick your can anytime I want to" he challenged at the insult.

"I'm an advanced martial artist and you think you can take me on with your intermediate hand to hand combat training, which you haven't practiced in years? You're dreaming in technical colour" she dismissively said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I'm a Turk" he snapped.

"That's your answer to everything. You can shake your tail feathers but without skill and rhythm, it doesn't mean anything. You look like a monkey when you fight" she told him.

"Put your money where your mouth is and we'll settle this in the Turks' dojo this Saturday. How much do you want to bet I'll trounce you?" He challenged her.

"I don't bet gils. The loser has to do whatever the winner wants for all of Sunday, excluding anything sexual or any form of slavery" Tifa said. They agreed and shook on it.

KICKING HIS CAN

The Turks were all in attendance when the challengers got ready for their fight.

The males hushed and almost sighed when Tifa stepped out wearing a black and red sport bra and matching mesh ankle crop leggings. Her sneakers were a whimsical glitter red and it looked like she would be transported elsewhere if she clicked the heels together three times. Her hair was bound back in a tight ponytail and she looked ready for business.

She barely noticed them as she put down her water bottle and towel and started stretching. Elena just rolled her eyes at how the boys followed every single one of her body movements.

However, Tifa froze when Reno came out wearing: black shorts, they weren't skin tight but weren't baggy either. They rose to about his mid thighs and showed off his long, lean legs to an advantage. It wasn't his shorts that had everyone's attention but his matching black top might as well have been painted on. "What are you wearing?" She asked him.

"The standard Turks workout outfit" he replied to how her eyes almost popped out of her head when he exited the locker room and he glared at how his colleagues were blatantly eyeing Tifa.

"Yes, but I think his top is a few sizes too small for him and possibly the first one ever issued to him when he first joined up. He was even thinner back then" Elena chimed in.

"It _is_ not! Why are you guys even here?" He snapped.

"Avalanche vs. The Turks training. Who wouldn't want to be witness that?" Tseng said with a shrug.

"Not us" Rude replied on behalf of all of them. "Besides, I have money riding on this" Rude explained to him.

"And I'm here to see her clean your clock" Elena explained.

"Whatever" Reno said to that vote of confidence and set down his own water bottle and towel and started stretching as well with Tifa stealing glances at him. He really had a nice body.

Rufus had agreed to referee it. "Okay this has to be a fair fight, no weapons and no hits below the belt" he said and they were off.

Tifa ducked Reno's round house kick and gut punched him and he quickly recovered and then tried to charge her and she swung out of the way and delivered a blow to his chest. It was like they were doing aerial ballet as they seemed to float in place and charge each other. People frowned at how they seemed to cling together longer than necessary and _rub_ against each other when attempting to pin each other. Reno finally managed to pin her against the well and leaned his entire body weight against Tifa. "I got you. Do you surrender?" He asked her as he held her by the throat.

"Are you through fancy dancing around and ready to fight me for real?" She smirked and head butted him and they followed with a right cross and Reno went down.

"Reno" she screamed and put his head in her lap as she examined him for wounds and instinctively pushed down his shirt where it had rucked up. He wasn't actually hurt, merely unconscious.

He blinked his way back to reality as she cried his name and the others leaned over him. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry" Tifa said.

"You got punched out by a girl" Rude snickered.

"I'm fine, Tifa, stop bellowing at me and help me up" he said, his head and jaw ached a little but he felt hungry more than anything.

"Tifa if you would ever like a job with the Turks, please let me know. I might be looking for a new second-in-command. I'm sure you could do a much better job than my present one" Tseng deadpanned. Reno just glared at this while Tifa helped him to his feet and started fussing over him like a mother hen.

"We should go put you to bed" Tifa said to Reno.

"Nah, let's go have some lunch. Wanna get showered and changed and go to the park and hit my favourite food truck?" He asked her.

"You're always hungry. It's amazing you're not fat" she teased him.

"I could never get fat. I have the metabolism of a teenaged boy" he snapped.

"Keep eating the way you do and you'll look like a _fat_ one" she bugged him and went to change.

He was already wearing his street clothes when she returned wearing a floral sundress that he was partial to. It had a boat neck with a profusion of flowers at the top of the bodice and hem and was plain black everywhere else. It seemed to float on her as she moved and flowed just past her knees. The other Turks had gone about their days and they were all alone.

"Why don't you look just lovely. Shall I escort you to lunch" he said, offering her his arm.

"Why thank you. I'll protect you since don't have your rod with you" she said with a flirtatious smile that was actually convincing and his heart lurched in his chest. What would they be when her lessons were at and end and she no longer needed him? He wondered again as she held onto his arm as they walked.

They sat on a picnic table as he ate his bacon double cheese burger and onion rings and she ate her chicken wrap. He noticed she kept looking at him. "You'd better be looking at my eyes because they're my best _visible_ feature and not making sure they're not dilated" he cautioned her.

"I hit you awfully hard" she said, lowering her gaze.

"I've been hit much harder and am tougher than I look, just like you" he reminded her.

"I don't like hurting anyone" she told him.

"And that makes you a nice person" he honestly told her.

"You're a nice person too" she said.

"No, I'm not" he said shaking his head negatively at this.

"Well I like you" she said. "No matter what you've done in the past" she added.

"I like you too" he said. "Tifa why did you give your dress away?" He asked her.

"I always wanted a dress like that when I married _Cloud_. I couldn't wear it to marry another man. It's time I face reality, he's not coming back and my home is gone and everything I had left of it. I'm a blank slate now and have to reinvent myself. You gave me the courage to do that, you made me brave enough to let him go. You make me feel confident and beautiful when I'm with you" she said, giving him grateful smile.

"Tifa, I..." he said, struggling with words was not something he was used to but being a smartass was. He quickly recovered "I ought to marry you for the good of all mankind and put you out of your misery" he said with a smirk.

"What?" Tifa said.

"I, Reno Sinclair take thee, Tifa Mildred Lockart to be my lawfully wedded wife." He playfully took one of his onion rings and slid it onto her finger. "With this onion ring, I thee wed. With this body I worship thee" he said giving her a vivacious look and comically waggling his eyebrows at her.

Tifa recovered and giggled, "oh I do, I surely do" she declared. "I, Tifa Mildred Lockhart take thee, Reno Sinclair to be my awfully wedded husband" she mockingly said.

"Oh golly gee, shucks, I'm the luckiest fella in the world. I guess I get to kiss my bride" He said and she could only nod, all the levity leaving the situation.

His head lowered and his silken lips tentatively covered hers.

They had kissed before when she was drunk but this was much different as all of her senses came alive. Their mouth met and fused.

Reno was a handsome, sexy and compelling male and everything in her responded to that. She had come to care a lot about him but this was something completely different.

Their kiss was gentle and sweet and almost shy as she cradled the nape of his neck and he stroked her cheek. They shifted so they were closer together and their arms went around each other, she could feel his body warmth through the thin cotton of the shirt he wore and his clean masculine scent tickled her nostrils and titillated her senses. She turned her head on an angle to allow him to deepened their kiss. His hand settled on the small of her back to draw her closer and deep inside of her, desire began to stir and shine. Reno's tongue explored the plush contours of her lip, demanding admittance when a familiar female voice exclaimed "holy fuck!"

They looked sharply up and sprang guiltily apart. Both were blushing as they resumed their meals. "I have to run after this, I have some accounting to do for the bar" Tifa said in a tight voice as she forced her libido under control.

"Yeah, I have laundry to do" he agreed in a strangled voice, glad he didn't have to stand up yet. "So where do I have to take you tomorrow because I lost the match?" He asked her to change the subject.

"Bring your swimsuit, a towel, hairbrush and anything else you would wear for spending the day in a pool and I'll bring all the rest. Oh, and a sweater for later is a good idea. Pick me up at 9am tomorrow" she said, giving him a mysterious smile. They finished their food and parted ways.

LORNA IS MEDDLING AGAIN

Elena was observing them from where the sight of them kissing had led to her outburst, she hadn't been following them, she had just gone for a walk before heading home.

Was it possible? She thought over Reno's behaviour as of late and wondered if he had been in bed with one of his chippies since agreeing to mentor Tifa. She doubted it, whenever he talked it was: "Tifa this and Tifa that". Then there was that almost wistful smile he got on his face when he mentioned her, which was all the time. "Well I'll be damned" she said as she fired up her computer when she got home and fired off a final email to Tifa.

"Dear Tifa,

I haven't heard from you for a while.

I assume you managed to convince Mr. Player to give you some pointers or perhaps a deeper connection is developing between the two of you?

Can I give you some advice about players? They are often men who have been deeply hurt before and are afraid to commit. He even might have come from a dysfunctional family or is perhaps, an orphan and doesn't know how to show love in a normal way and is afraid to.

Deep down inside, a player is normally lonely. He uses his sexual urges to keep women at bay by giving himself to many. A player normally wants to be captured by a special woman who, with loving patience and guidance, shall capture him before he knows it has happened. Don't be demanding of what you want from him, just do something that will cause him to have to admit his real feelings for you.

I hope this helps.

Lorna"

"Don't you say I've never done any favours for you, Asshole. You ought to name your first kid after me, whether it's a boy or a girl" Elena groused when she hit send.

WALLY'S WET AND WILD WORLD. OH LOOK, AN OLD FRIEND...AWKWARD

Reno could only goggle at what was before him, he was topless and wore black swim trunks and sandals after getting changed and putting everything into their rented locker.

Tifa wore a black bikini with a wraparound bikini top that normally drove him wild. There was something about extra straps wrapping toned female stomachs that reminded him of lingerie. She wore sunglasses and was licking a red popsicle that he'd bought her. The way she looked and the way her tongue licked it might have been suggestive if her adopted daughter and son weren't beside them doing the same with their own popsicles.

They were at Wally's Wet and Wild World, a local water park where Wally appeared to be some kind of gopher type creature. Though what a gopher had to do with water escaped Reno.

It was Family Day and the place was wall to wall with children of every age and their doting parents. He felt self-conscious at how other families were smiling at him as if he'd joined some weird cult by having a supposed wife and adorable children with him. He was mystified by what Tifa had insisted they do as a forfeit. He was only glad that no one he knew could see him...

"Hey Reno" a voice shouted in greeting.

He turned around and spotted Rod waving and standing beside a really attractive blonde and what appeared to be their offspring.

"What are you doing here?" He asked him.

"It's Family Day" he said in tone of voice that spoke that Reno should have known this. "Tifa, you're looking lovely. And you two must be Denzel and Marlene. You have to come meet my kids" he ventured. "Jasmine, this is my old work mate that I told you about" he called to the blonde.

Reno froze, Jasmine was the image of an old movie star he'd had as a crush on as a kid: Veronica Lake. She was the embodiment of her, the flowing hair, the long legs, the almost miniscule waist and the ripe curves. Her smile was nothing but friendly and wholesome when she looked at him, she was obviously just a happy wife meeting her husband's friend. Certainly, the toddler on her hip wasn't a fashion accessory.

Reno averted his eyes when he realized he was staring at her. "Nice to meet you" he said.

Rod slapped him on the back. "Don't worry about gawking at my wife, she's used to it. I'm sure your _almost_ wife feels the same with that hot body of hers. It doesn't hurt checking out the menu as long as you don't eat out" Rod said, putting a protective arm around Jasmine.

"I don't mind but only have eyes for my husband. I so adore coming to water parks so I can ogle Rod in his swim trunks and watch other women admire him and know he's coming home with me. How about you Tifa? I'm sure you like checking out the lean hotness that is Reno and knowing he's all yours" Jasmine said in a bell-like voice.

Tifa just blushed.

"Say what now?" Denzel said.

Reno sighed, "come on Rod, you and me have to talk."

"I'll keep Tifa company. Denzel, Marlene, I would like to introduce you to: Sarah, Anthony and our youngest is Peter" Jasmine told them while Tifa didn't know what to say. She's been embarrassed about how she'd acted and put herself and Reno in danger. They had made peace and she'd thought she'd never see anyone she'd met that night again.


	10. Chapter 10

ROD AND RENO

Reno led Rod behind some kind of plastic looking castle, where they had a bit of privacy and Rod leaned against it. "What's up big guy?" He asked him.

"Now that we're not surrounded by men wanting to gang bang Tifa, I have to tell you the truth: she and I aren't together" Reno admitted.

"Come again?" Rod said.

"She and I are...friends" Reno explained to him.

"Sure, you come and rescue her from a fate she was inviting, claim her to be yours and tell highly dangerous men with hair trigger tempers, who are disappointed they didn't get to trade her around, that she's your old lady...and you're only friends. Are you high, Man? It's a little early to be hitting the gonga" he razed his old buddy. "Besides, those kids look just like..." He dismissively added.

"Their fathers and mothers. Denzel's a kid Tifa and Cloud rescued and as for Marlene, Tifa co-parents with a male friend to provide a mother figure for her and Marlene lives with her adopted father mainly. I'm sure you remember Barret Wallace."

"He's impossible to forget, the guy's built like a tank" Rod, opening wide his eyes in emphasis.

"Tifa adopted them, she doesn't have any of her own. Cloud left her for another woman and I've been mentoring her in how to attract a man" Reno said and flushed with anger when Rod started laughing.

"You have to be shitting me. As if she would need you to find a man! How come those kids look just like you then?" Rod asked Reno.

"They don't look like either of us, look at them; really look at them. Your kids look like your wife and yourself because they share your genes but Denzel and Marlene don't because we're not their parents. Marlene's eight and Denzel's nine, I'm almost twenty-six and Tifa's twenty-four. When could we have conceived them? She would have had to have been fourteen and I think we would both have noticed if she was going around with a huge belly when we were shadowing Avalanche members movements" Reno told him.

"But the boy's hair. You know that if ginger genes are involved, you can get any type of redhead" Rod said but was forced to focus on the children and started to have doubts. The kids were too old to have been secret love children between the Turk and Tifa. Rod looked over to where Tifa and Jasmine sat on a bench together with Peter, while the kids were playing some kind of game involving chasing each other with huge water guns. They had immediately bonded with each other in the way young children did. Rod realized he's been willfully blind when he saw that although the dark-haired girl could have passed for Tifa's daughter, neither child really looked like Reno. Rod was one of those happily married men who wished everyone could be as lucky in love as him. He'd always had a soft spot for Reno because they came from the same place and had always wondered what happened to him as ex-members were supposed to stay away from active members. He'd always sensed a deep loneliness in the man despite how much pussy he banged. Therefore, when Tifa had called Reno and he had come and confirmed Rod's assumption, he'd been happy for him. "You're telling the truth. But why are you here with them on family day?" He asked him.

"I lost a bet, I would rather not tell you what it involved and Tifa made me come here" Reno explained.

"Say I decide to believe you. If you're not with Tifa, who are you with?" Rod asked him, crossing his arms over his chest. Dreading his answer. Rod had been Reno's wingman upon occasion back in the day, they made a great team with their bookend good looks. Reno had been like catnip to women and Rod had been no slouch either but he was past all that. Surely Reno wasn't still "dicking" around with causal women?

"No one in particular. I still prefer to sleep around...just lately. It's complicated" Reno said when he realized exactly how long it had been since he last had sex. "I've been mentoring Tifa for about a month now and haven't really had the time for much of anything. She's hopeless" Reno said with a sigh and explained how their situation came to be, to Rod's peals of laughter, how Tifa had attempted to approach him at first.

"So, you're with her almost every night and you're not actually involved? Man, the sex you have with her must be smoking" Rod concluded to Reno's tale.

Reno just looked away to hide his blush.

"Nooooo. You're not sleeping with Tifa? What does the bird do?" Rod demanded.

"It flies high; of course I'm not an imposter. That code is so old" Reno groused.

"Who are you and what have you done to Reno?" Rod demanded

"It's different with her, she wasn't offering and I'm helping her with..." Reno said.

"Trying to find a man" Rod said with a snicker, his sense of humour was having a field day at his old colleague's expense.

"Fine what do you do with her while giving her these "lessons"?" Rod demanded.

"We frequently dine together after the lessons are done, she likes to cook. Sometimes she invites herself to lunch when I'm at the office. Sometimes we might go see a movie and she likes to binge watch Downton Abbey with me" Reno admitted.

"Wasn't it so sad when Matthew died? All that time trying to get them together for that..." Rod suddenly said. "Jasmine got me into it" he said to Reno's incredulous look. "It sounds like you're both using these lessons as an excuse to spent time together. I mean; how could it take a month to teach someone to flirt with a dude?" Rod asked him.

"You have no idea" Reno said and shut his eyes mournfully and shook his head in sorrow.

"Does she take care of you when you're injured or just feeling ill in general?" Rod asked him.

"Only the once and she practically forced her way into my place. She was...extremely hands on with her treatment of me" Reno admitted and could feel his cheeks heat up. Why had neither questioned what was going on when she led him to his washroom after running him a bath and she helped to undress him? Also, why had she looked at his choice of underwear so strangely? It hadn't been like he'd been wearing a thong. They were basic black boxer briefs because he preferred some support to the baggier variety of boxers. They were a brand he always bought because they were the most comfortable ones he could find and rose lower than the more popular varieties as he couldn't stand the white elastic bands around the waist of cheaper ones on the market. Surely, she had seen a man in his underwear before? She lived with Cloud or years.

He remembered how she had stripped these from him and he didn't protest or think it odd in his groggy state as she helped him into the bath. It wasn't like she's washed him like he was a toddler but she washed his hair (easily locating the place on the nape of his neck he loved to have stroked) and back for him and kept him company as he enjoyed the feeling of the cool water on his feverish skin.

Rod suddenly smirked at him, an expression that looked very familiar for some reason. "Dude, you're in a relationship and you don't even know it" he stated.

"That's so not true!" Reno protested as Rod hummed the wedding march and walked ahead to rejoin the women and children.

TIFA AND JASMINE

Tifa couldn't stop staring at Peter, with his bright red hair and light blue, almost occidental shaped eyes, he could be Reno's so...

"So, you and Reno?" Jasmine asked her, interrupting her thoughts, she had already deduced that he wasn't the father of the children as she watched them run around and squeal with her own brood.

"We're not involved. He lied to Rod to protect me. I didn't know it was a gang banger bar. I was drunk and alone and practically threw myself at any available man. If Reno hadn't come, I would have been..." Tifa admitted. "I got out of the first and only relationship I've ever been in and my social skills when it comes to attracting a man are lousy. I can't flirt my way out of a wet paper bag and Reno's so smooth, so I wanted some pointers from him. But was too shy to ask him. I kinda went over the top in getting his advice. I guess you wouldn't understand being how glamourous you are" Tifa said with a blush.

"I can't flirt worth chicken scratch and don't see it as being a bad thing. You shouldn't be ashamed of that, it means you're an honest person when it comes to being in a relationship. I'm not glamourous and never have been. My appearance can be a curse at time. I've only ever had one boyfriend before Rod, he was my best friend in high school until we became more. I had so many men claiming I did stuff with them when I hadn't. I grew up on a farm and choose not to remain there. After hearing how pretty I was all my life, I decided to cash in on that and become a model" Jasmine explained.

"I could see that, you're so beautiful" Tifa agreed.

"I was a dismal failure. I got a couple magazine spreads but no one wanted to represent me, I was never a stick figure. I had butt and boobs and that doesn't sell. I also had no marketable skills. So, I wound up dancing at a road house for tips and staff price drinks, it was a miserable way to make a living and the only way I ate, was the cook took a shine to me and fed me from her kitchen. It was there I met Rod and his gang. I was used to men assuming I would go home with them and thought he was just the usual guy. But he was always so respectful of me and I was attracted to him. One night, I opened up about my life to him, I was lonely and had no real friends. He gave me money that night to go home but I couldn't take money from a drunken man. So, I tried to return it the next day and we started dating. I wondered why he wasn't trying to seduce me and finally asked him and he explained he thought I was too much of a lady to be taken to bed so cheaply. We got married that day and have been together ever since. I know what he's done and what he does for a living. But also know that he lives by a strict moral code and trust him" Jasmine explained. "So, I understand about being lacking in the social graces."

"But I heard you flirt" Tifa said.

"I can only flirt with Rod. He brings out my sexy side and makes me feel beautiful. I feel so good when I'm with him" Jasmine said and her smile glowed when her husband came to rejoin her with sulky looking Reno in tow.

Tifa felt slightly troubled by the other woman's last statement, it was like she was describing how Tifa felt about Reno...

"Tifa, what is this bet that Reno lost?" Rod asked her.

"We bet that I was better than him at hand to hand and I punched him out" Tifa said, being unable to lie. Both members of the married couple stared at her and then both cracked up.

"You got punched out by a little girl?" Rod exclaimed. "Man, you're getting soft in your old age."

"You know how good she is, you fought against her too" Reno said as he pursed his lips in annoyance and Tifa averted her eyes that she longed to kiss them.

"It sounds like you need to go back for retraining" Rod observed.

"I have to starting Monday; Tseng told me it's mandatory" Reno said in a voice tight with anger, certain it was going to be a long day.

As if by mutual agreement, the married couple and the other almost-couple decided to remain together as they walked around the park as a unit. This allowed them to have more sitters on hand if they decided they wanted to go on certain slides or rides. Tifa's expression when she held Peter stirred something deep inside Reno.

They actually had fun and the couple's children were just a whimsical as them. Anthony or Tony, was seven and had his father's outgoing personality and looked more like his mother, Sarah was a little shy and five years old and Peter seemed to be a clone of Rod.

Tifa was a little envious of how happy they seemed to be, whereas Rod and Jasmine watched how the other couple interacted as they crushed heavily each other, that was obvious at how they looked at each other. They seemed relaxed in each other's company and obviously loved to tease each other. Reno seemed to get along with Tifa's children and it seemed like Marlene had a bit of a crush on him, which was cute. He spoke to them as he did with everyone regardless of age or social rank; he spoke to them like they were short adults. He didn't act like he was their father as he wasn't but seemed to like to play with them. He was young at heart to begin with.

They all grinned when Reno held Tifa's protesting form pinned on a bridge that was a known splash zone for a water log ride and she cried out when cold water drenched them both and Reno released her so she could push back her sodden fringed bangs and glared at him. "I'll kick your can again" she told him.

"Then you might make me go to so sordid event like a garden party or a book signing? I'm so scared. Thanks, you shall remain the undisputed champion of hand jobs" he said in a perfectly serious voice.

His long legs took him far from her while she chased him but he deliberately slowed down and allowed her to "pin" him in an embrace when he cried defeat, all of the children rolled their eyes at each other that the adults were acting goofy. Denzel made a gagging sign at Marlene that made her mobile mouth to twitch with mirth.

At the end of each night, the water park had a lame parade but a beautiful fireworks display. Everyone had showered and got into their clothing in preparation of this. But Tifa couldn't find her sweater to wear over the sundress Reno admired so much. "I know I brought it" she said.

"Take mine" Reno said, taking his off and offering it to her.

"Then you'll be cold" she said.

"I'll live" he said.

"Share your sweater with her" Jasmine suggested.

"How?" Tifa asked.

"Like this, silly" Jasmine said, settling her back against Rod's lean torso and he obliged her by pulling her as close as possible and drawing his hoodie as far forward to cover her and then looped his arms around her to cover her more.

"Do you mind?" Tifa asked Reno as her heart raced.

"Come here" he said and drew her against him and she settled into the warm shelter of his arms and her eye stared up as the sky exploded and her world seemed to shine as his body warmth engulfed her.

They parted once the water park closed. Reno promised to bring them all by for a Sunday barbeque and Tifa promised Jasmine she would come to her book club with her and send her her recipe for her barbequed ribs.

She was happy she made a new friend in the gorgeous wall flower of a woman as Reno drove them home while the kids were asleep in the back, tuckered after the day of dealing with three children with unlimited energy. The street lamp's light flitted furtively across his features and made her long to touch him, if even to just brush her hand against his, but she dared not.

Dinner had been at the roadhouse where Jasmine used to work, it was a bit sketchy a place but they had arrived before the onset of the partying crowd and had only gone there as the cook doted endless on them and provided them all with "the best and juiciest chicken wings on Gaia", as was promised.

Reno drove them home feeling pleasantly full and surprised he'd actually enjoyed the day. He glanced at how the children were cuddled up and it felt...he didn't know how he felt.

He turned into their parking lot and waited until Tifa roused the sleepy children, Marlene didn't want to wake up but was all wide eyed as Reno carried her to bed as she insisted and grumped when he departed the room and Tifa wrestled her into her nightie and kisses a sleepy cheek departing for slumber land.

Tifa excused herself to check her email related to the bar while Reno opened up a bottle of cheap but good wine to share as was their habit. They both enjoyed sharing one when they got together but didn't want to bite into the stock of decent wines.

Her eyes went wide as she read the email from Lorna and thought about it. Reno wouldn't talk about his past but she paused to wonder. An orphan? Was it possible? She remembered how he clung to her when he was ill and remember how Denzel was when coming home from the first time. Denzel was a scrappy little survivor who would probably outlast the cockroaches. Yet he'd been so vulnerable. If Reno had been a loveless orphan...

Tifa had been avoiding examining her developing her feelings for Reno in view of her past...behaviour. Nothing says I love you like tying a person to a bed and reading to him. She didn't want to lose him, she was...in love with him? Tifa shook her head in denial, she couldn't be. He was just her friend.

Her pulse quickened when he approached her and she turned to look at him. Was it possible of him? She remembered his confession of being in love when an adolescent.

She thought of Lorna's advice and said the first thing that came to her mind. "I've been invited to a single's night tomorrow at Sneaky Dee's. I think it's time I venture out on my own. What do you think, handsome?" She said with a perfect purr to her voice and she gently traced a single finger in circular patterns on his solid chest.

Reno swallowed hard and made himself focus on her face. She looked pretty and provocative at the same time and yet wholesome too. "Yes, I have nothing further to teach you obviously. I shall come over to...bolster your confidence before you go out" he promised her.

"Great, see you tomorrow. I have to go shopping for a new dress" she said and he pursed his lips at this. She saw him to the door, closed it and leaned against it in a giddy way and bit her hand against a victorious whoop so she wouldn't awake the slumbering children.


	11. Chapter 11

I'M READY

Reno went over to Tifa's and she smiled at him wearing her new outfit and shyly asked how she looked. He swallowed hard, it was red with some ribbon detailing and softly feminine. There were cut outs over her shoulders where a black grid pattern had been sewn over that and between the V neckline. The top was a long-sleeved crop top and allowed a teasing glimpse of the creamy flesh of her mid-section. The skirt was a pencil skirt with more of the grid pattern decorating it.

"You look beautiful" he told her in all honestly. "I brought the walkie talkies so I can give you pointers" he ventured.

She shook her head and gazed up at him with those hypnotic eyes. "I need to do this on my own" she told him. "I'm grateful for all you taught me but I can't expect you to hold my hand for the rest of my life in social settings" she told him and reached out and briefly cupped his cheek.

"I haven't minded..." Reno ventured.

"I'm ready and shall always treasure the memories of our time together. You've been so kind to me and it's time I use what I learned from you. I need to meet a marrying man who will commit to the kids and myself" she explained when checked her face in the mirror, she wore no makeup and didn't need any.

"I could just observe from the other side of the room, you know, in case a guy tries to get too fresh" Reno offered again.

Tifa just shook her head. "I can handle myself, I can defeat a Turk after all" she reminded him with that quirky smile that made him long steal it with a kiss.

"If you're sure" Reno said, wondering why he felt so strange, he could swear he was feeling jealous. That was preposterous! Tifa would go out and drive every guy away by saying the wrong thing and then realize she still needed his guidance. But what if she didn't? What if she met someone? Reno's mind was in turmoil over the idea.

She picked up her purse "I guess I'm ready" she said.

"I can give you a ride" he said.

"Then I'll chicken out and ask you to come in with me. You've done so much for me" she said and got on her tiptoe and kissed his cheek and the warmth of her lips seemed to linger for an extra second.

"I'll let you know what happened. I'll text you later. It's not like I will go home with anyone I meet tonight" she told him.

He could feel anger at the idea that she would sleep with someone...wasn't he enough for...Reno felt so confused. Of course, she would sleep with someone eventually he heatedly thought to himself. What the hell was wrong with him?

Tifa slipped into the strappy sandals she'd chosen and did them up and wondered why Reno seemed so tense.

"Are you okay? Shouldn't you be saying: "By George she's got it" in a funny accent? I owe this all to you. Funny how one's enemies become their closest friend given time" she mused to him and impulsively gave him a tight hug.

He got that tight feeling in his chest again as he rested his head on top of hers and his hands fisted into her thick, wavy hair. She wore some kind of light, floral perfume that reminded him of honey for some reason. He held her briefly while greedily inhaling her sweet breath and bodily scent, as if drinking her in and longed to cling to her. He forced himself to stand back and put his hands in his pocket.

"You're welcome. I brought you something. It's not much, just something to give you courage and bring you luck, perhaps" he said handing her the jewelry box. "It wasn't expensive or nuttin'" he assured her while he rubbed he back of his head nervously. She opened it to find a resin necklace there. "I was saving it for your birthday but when you said having nothing left of your home... so I decided" Reno said and mentally kicked himself that he found himself stammering as she glanced at him. Reno Sinclair doesn't stammer! "My last mission took me close to Nebelheim" he lied, he also didn't tell her how he'd found the weeping willow tree she'd planted in place of a headstone for her father and found himself absurdly introducing himself to it.

FLASHBACK

Reno flew into the overgrown field that was once been the thriving mountain town of Nebelheim. Gaia had obviously reclaimed the land and there was barely any trace that the town had ever existed but some stone foundations and remnants of people's lives that hadn't burned as a mad man had razed the town to the ground.

Reno walked around, he'd been there before but never had felt a connection to it, nor any place for that matter. Home to him: meant you had a bed to sleep in and food to eat, nothing more.

Yet now that he really knew Tifa, he found himself imagining what his life would have been like had he lived there with her, attended the same school. Would they have been friends? She and Cloud had been popular; would he have been popular too? Would she have noticed him romantically?

Reno shook his head to clear it. Such musings were useless. He had never lived here and would be dead, like everyone else, save two people, if he had.

He used the GPS on his phone to locate the location of the farm Tifa grew up on. She'd told him she couldn't find a trace of her father's body, so she planted a weeping willow tree in his honour in place of a headstone.

Reno bent down and using a small trowel, took enough of the dark, fertile earth to fill a test tube and caped it and put it in the pocket of his uniform suit jacket.

He looked at the proudly spreading weeping willow tree and said, "hi, sir" This was a first for Reno, he never called people by their respectful titles and spoke to everyone as equals. "You don't know me but I know your daughter, Tifa. You'd be so proud of the woman she's become. Nice to meet ya" he said, thrusting his hand out and expecting it to be shaken for some reason but the branches just brushed his hand. He blushed and hightailed it out of there, feeling like he's going mad.

END FLASHBACK

"I used THE GSP on my PHS and found out the coordinates of your father's farm. The dark background is the earth I got from there, the same one that used to nurture his crops and feed you and the same one that nurtures your tribute to him. The lily I asked them to put on the front as you like them..." His voice trailed off when he realized how lame and dorky he sounded.

She hugged him harder this time with a sob "Tifa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dredge up old memories" he said awkwardly patting her back.

"This is the nicest present anyone has ever given me" she sniffled, clinging to him a few seconds longer.

"It's nothing" he said as he blushed.

"Help me put it on" she said bundling her hair, revealing the vulnerable nape of her neck and slim back and his hands trembled slightly as he looped and fastened the necklace onto her.

He felt lame that it looked cheap and tawdry on her when she deserved priceless jewels, when to her, it was more precious to her then any crown jewels. "I should have gotten you something better" he ventured.

Tifa wiped a single tear away "It's perfect" she assured him, wanting to kiss him so badly but instead said, "well I've got to go. My uber's here."

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" He asked her a final time.

"I'll be fine, sensei" she promised him.

"So, what do you want to do for dinner tomorrow? I have a hankering for lasagna and can pick some up, you won't have time to make it and don't say you'll make time..." Reno accused her.

"I can't see you every night, if I meet someone tonight, my focus shall have to be on them. I need to do this, we'll still hang out once in a while" she promised him.

"I...understand. Are you sure there isn't anything else you need?" He asked her.

"I have everything I need" she assured him and went down when her uber driver called her and Reno let himself out with a sinking heart.

He would call one of his ladies, no two. Better yet, the twins and have them delivered to his bed and pound them both until the next morning and go to work reeking of sex and with an ear to ear grin. No more having to wait to watch the next episode of Downton Abbey because someone has a private party booked. He would watch it whenever...fuck that shit. Go to the sex shop and buy the twins edible bikinis, yet he turned left when he should have turned right and went in the direction of Sneaky Dee's and never made that phone call.

Tifa went into the bar, aware of male eyes and perhaps some female eyes checking her out. She sat at the bar itself beside an empty seat and ordered herself a drink. It wasn't long before a man detached himself from the herd and ventured over to her. He was handsome in a dark sort of way with his wavy brunette hair and had a kind face, however she was waiting for someone else to come. "Is this seat taken?" He asked her.

"It is now, my aren't you a feast for the eyes" she purred. She knew how to flirt in general but her heart wasn't in it.

"You sure are a pretty one" he said as he arranged himself in the seat beside her.

She gave him a teasing glance and in a perfectly serious voice said "you know what I think you would look good doing? Holding our newborn baby."

He looked startled at this, "huh?" Mr. Smooth squeaked.

"I so adore children and want to have a huge family. I already have two of my own. Wanna see their pictures? Are there any diseases in your family I should be aware of?" She added.

"I've got to...see you" he said and bolted from her.

Her next victim, she sobbed over losing her father so traumatically, losing her only love and demanded he tell her why everyone kept leaving her. He lasted two minutes with her.

She was well into her fourth startled looking suitor when it was like every woman sighed at the same time and she could sense he was there before she turned to look at him.

Reno didn't see any of the women admiring him, wanting to be his for the night. He only saw one woman and felt wild with rage that someone dared sit beside her and claim even a meeting with her. Reno didn't like how he gazed at his Tifa.

Reno couldn't know that the look the other man was giving her wasn't rapt attention, but startled confusion when he had asked her what a perfect day was like for her and she told him a long-winded boring story of getting kids up and ready for school and then going grocery shopping. She was at the point of having to decide whether to buy baby cut carrots or the ones you have to peel when they were interrupted.

"Hey pal, you're sitting in my seat" Reno said and extended the bouquet or wutaian lilies he'd felt compelled to buy for her. "The woman is mine, we have two kids and live together. We had a huge fight and she borrowed those clothes from a friend and came here because she read about it on yelp. She's trying to make me jealous and I've been a fool. I'm so sorry baby. Please come home" he said to her.

Tifa looked at the other man. "You seem like a nice guy and I would have been tempted to get to know you some more if I wasn't taken" she apologized.

"Yeah...um, please take my seat. I have to..." He said and left the two of them alone and ran to get from the weirdness that was the both of them.

Tifa took the lilies and looked at Reno while she inhaled their scent. They didn't say anything as he held out his hand and she took it and they both walked out of the bar together.

He opened the door for her and got in beside her but didn't start the car. "How long have you known I was in love with you?" He asked her, unable to look at her.

"Only recently but I knew you could come for me tonight. How long have you known I was in love with you?" She asked him.

"I suspected, I'm fairly new to this" he admitted and finally looked at her. The vulnerability in his clear blue eyes endeared him to her even further.

"We don't have to rush things. If anyone had patience, it's me" she reminded him. "Take me home, I mean your home. I need you, I need to really be with you tonight" she urged him and he drove them there.

THE UNION

They moved to his bedroom in silent agreement.

He turned his back on her as she requested as she took off her clothes and got under the covers, feeling too shy to do this in front of him.

Reno however wanted her to watch him undress, he'd undressed probably in front of hundreds of women but they never counted, only she did. She caressed him with her eyes as all of him was revealed to her, she'd seen it all before but it was more poignant at that time at the look of uncertainty on his face, that she might find part of him unattractive. That wasn't the case in the least he was solidly lean and well-muscled where it counted along his lithe torso and limbs. His body wasn't unblemished and held scars from his rough occupation but her body was scarred too.

Her mouth went dry as he slipped under the covers with her and held her nude trembling body in his powerful arms. Their bodies first together so right as their lips melded and fused together. Hands started to explore each other, finding out how the other liked to be touched and exploring what was now theirs.

She soon lay beneath him as his fingers in her brought her body to a fevered pitch she felt like she was engulfed in flames at how badly she needed him and begged for him to put out the fire. Reno believed in safety first but didn't reach for one of the many condoms present in the top drawer of his nightstand. He knew she was clean and she knew he was clean as her small hand guided him towards her entrance of bliss. He knew she was on the pill and would keep them safe until they decided it was time.

He knew by entering her body, he was entering her life. That he was giving up his way of life, no more would he know another woman's touch and was fine with that because he wanted only her hands on his body.

He knew that it meant he would be a type of father to her adopted children and an actual father to their future children and accepted that to.

He accepted it because he loved her and wanted to be with her and couldn't deny her the one thing she wanted, or anything else for that matter.

She was his and he surged forward to claim her as such and surrendered himself to her tight embrace as he was hers as well.

She sobbed out his name as he entered her with a single thrust of acceptance and he found out what making love to a woman was as tender feelings engulfed them both as they moved together in perfect rhythm as if old partners in the dance of love. Never had a woman felt so right for him as her fingers frantically caressed his hard back when she first came on him. She sobbed her way through two more until his hot love burst into her and it was his turn to sob out his love for her.

They lay together in each other's arms all mussed with the sweat of their first union drying on their bodies. "So what changes do you want to make to my place?" He asked her.

She just smirked back, feeling satisfied in a way she could never imagine. "Sorry you'll have to wait. We have to get the children to agree to us before we proceed with any future plans" she told him.

"How long is that going to take?" He asked her.

"Who knows. But I would be happy to wear another piece of jewelry from you if you feel so inclined to give me one" she suggestively said.

"Sorry I'm not easy. You'll have to earn that privilege" he teased her and she batted his chest with her hand.

"I guess shall have to" she agreed as she pushed him back and went down on him to his happy groans and then rode him until they both expired with bliss and drifted into a contended sleep.

Their slumber was interrupted by a knock on the door the next day and Reno put on a bathrobe and gave Tifa a t-shirt that was long enough on her so that she was decently covered. They both blinked in surprise to find a man there wearing a tuxedo and holding a bottle of champagne. "I was sent by Elena to bring you both a catered breakfast" he explained with a bright smile that the light seemed to glare off to the half-awake occupants of the house. .

Reno didn't bother asking how Elena knew Tifa and he had slept together, she was good at her job after all or wouldn't have lasted this long. He told him where the kitchen was and he wheeled in table and set it up and made them a pitcher of mimosas and departed, saying that he would be back in a few hours for his equipment.

"She asked me to give this to you" the waiter said, handing them a CD before discreetly departing. It whimsically had, "Watch Me" written on it in bubble, cartoon-like letters. They toasted each other and then tucked into their lobster benedict, both famished after the night before and their bodies in need of refueling. They felt completely at ease in each other's presence.

Reno got his laptop and they put the disk into it and both watched. It appeared to be some kind of interview show. The pretty blonde was seated in a floral easy chair. "Today, we shall be revealing the identity of the mysterious authoress, Lorna Love, known for her more...controversial methods about how to get your man. Lorna, come join us" Reno dropped his fork when Elena came out to thundering applause from the live studio audience and took a seat opposite the blonde in a matching chair.

"Hi Beverly, it's nice to meet you in person. I'm a great fan of your show" Elena said.

"Lorna" she greeted her.

"I'll let you in on a secret. Lorna's not my real name. I'm actually Elena Marshall and I work at a place I can't mention in public" she said in a stage whisper.

"Oh where would this be?" Beverly asked her.

"Sorry, that's classified. I would like to get started by introducing a new product developed in the lab of where I work at my request. Thanks Larry" she called. "Patent pending" she added.

"What is this?" Beverly asked her.

"I call it: Lorna's Elixir of Love, but that's only a working name for now. This sweet baby will put your intended into a highly suggestable state where they appear drunk to the average observer. And they'll go along with anything whispered in their ear. They will wake up with a hangover and think it was their idea. I know they say you can't put a price on true love. Well I can: thirty-nine-gils and ninety-nine gillets. The website in on the screen and I shall be posting the results of a test I personally ran" she plugged.

"That sounds like a date rape drug and that's illegal" Beverly said with a frown creasing her features.

"Nah, it's a love drug. Lorna's Elixir of Love buy it and get your man..." She said with a wink and a savage roar of approval from the audience and then the CD petered off.

"Lorna? Wasn't that the name of that crazy bitch who gave you all that strange advice" Reno demanded.

"Yes it was" Tifa said in confusion.

"So, it was Elena this whole time. I'm going to kill her..." Reno said just a skype rang and he recognized Elena's address and answered it with fury in his face.

"Hey chief" she facetiously said. She looked relaxed and practically seemed to glow in a comfortable bathrobe.

"Don't you "hey chief" after what you had Tifa do to me" he thundered at her while Tifa leaned over to observe.

"And it worked, you two are together now" she said in a cocky voice and threw a handful of confetti at the camera and air kissed them both.

"That is beside the point, you knew what you were telling Tifa to do" he spat.

"Part of it was, to get back at you for being an arrogant asshole. Tifa contacted me for your big fat information. Thanks to me, you're happily in a relationship and not forever banging bimbos and wondering why you're still feeling lonely" she spat back and he flinched at his.

"I ought to kill you for..." Reno said as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Sorry, you can't. You'll soon find out why. Sorry I've got to go, I have my own happy event to get back to" she said and dismissively closed the laptop and wondered if Tseng was going to wake up soon as she ate her toast and coffee, needing it from the night before.

PRESENTING MR. AND MRS. XU

Tseng groaned as he woke up and looked around in surprise to find himself in the bedroom of Rufus's private jet. He only knew it from when he had checked the plane to make sure it was secure. His head throbbed and the private jet appeared to be in motion. He lifted the covers to discover he was nude and wondered if he'd been doing stuff with _Rufus._ Which was absurd, both men were straight. He looked about himself and wondered why there was some kind of white sundress on the ground, that was trimmed with dark pink ribbons and had a matching sash. There seemed to be matching shoes and panties and a garter belt. White stockings lay on a chair beside the bed and on the dresser, a pair of hair clips rested that had orchid flowers and glitter on there. He wondered why a brooch bouquet with more fake orchids rested beside this. He looked around and couldn't see any of his clothes, just a black bathrobe with the word "groom" embroidered onto the back of it in white letters. He frowned at this but put it on and went looking for someone to give answers to his questions.

He found Elena had his suit on a mannequin and hummed as she went over it with a lint brush. "Elena what's going on?" He asked her, wondering why her bathrobe was white with black lettering that red "bride".

"I'm taking care of my man, seeing how we're married and all" she said as she happily hummed and handed him a glass of water that he grateful gulped down and almost choked on when what she'd said sunk in.

"What do you mean we're married? That's not possible" he demanded and she held a marriage certificate to him and he swallowed hard and sat down when he recognized his own handwriting on it.

"How?" He all but whispered.

"You got drunk and demanded I marry you" she calmly said.

"Drunk? But I don't drink when providing security for the president" he insisted and she got out her laptop and showed him the footage of their wedding and his cheeks flamed at how he stumbled about and was publicly groping her as he slurred his vows with a shit eating grin.

"But..." He protested.

"You were loudly declaring you wanted to marry me and Rufus came to see what all the commotion was about. You kept on insisting, so he allowed me to go change into that little number you saw on the floor that I just _happened_ to have with me and personally drove us to the nearest wedding chapel and gave me away" he's such a sweet man below that cold, calculating exterior" she declared, smiling at the memory. "He even leant us his private jet to go on our honeymoon on his private tropical estate. It's going to be you and I there, save for a few staff members who live there," she said with satisfaction in her voice.

"Wait, we didn't consummate it. That means our marriage isn't valid" Tseng said with hope in his own.

"Three times baby. You were an animal" Elena said with a leer. "You want to go for round four?" She asked him and flung off her bathrobe. Tseng's hangover had dissipated by that time and he looked at her firm, nude body with interest. His brain mentally shrugged and decided it was too early in the morning for him to deal with any of this shit but the hot body being offered to him. Elena laughed when he threw her over his shoulder and hurried her to bed. It had literally been years since he had been with a woman.

A YEAR LATER

Rod roared up his driveway on his motorcycle. He wore a Turks uniform as he had rejoined their ranks. Tseng was glad to have him back and Jasmine had been assured he wouldn't go on dangerous missions and the spousal benefits really came in handy with their kids. He let himself into his house and helped himself to beer. Arms came around him and he spun them so Jasmine was pressed against the fridge as she gave him a soul kiss and told him he was to be a father again. He whooped and carried her to bed.

Reno had proven to be the happily married man as Rod had predicted. He wore a wedding ring that he never took off. The kids had accepted him as they did every strange person helping to raise them. He fallen for her first and had fallen for them next, they nice children and easy to love. Their wedding had been low key as both had decided. It had been a garden wedding in tribute to the fallen Aerith and the way the flowers seemed to dance, made them suspect she was in attendance. Their wedding party include the President of Gaia and a Tomboy Wutaian princess.

Reno had almost gotten cold feet and Rod and Tseng with Rude as best man helped drag him forward. He had felt calm the second he saw Tifa walking towards him in a simple wedding dress with lilies in her hair that matched her bouquet. She looked so beautiful that his eyes went misty and he said his vows with such conviction that everyone laughed. His heart skipped a beat as she pursed her lips for their wedded kiss and his lips covered hers.

She still had her bar but with the increase in her income, she's hired a manager and only went in for a few afternoons a week as she'd chosen to stay home to run her household for her children and husband.

Tifa had slid so seamlessly into Reon's life that it was like she'd always belonged with him. She looked after him with loving care, providing him with delicious meals and tending to all of his needs. His home now had gardens and toys for the children to play with scattered around his pool and littered their house, no matter how they lectured them. His well-used bed had been replaced, along with other bachelor type furniture, which had been given away, or had been banished to the man cave that had been created in their basement. He now knew that a home was: with people who love you.

Every morning he was kissed awake and Tifa lovingly rode his half-awake body. He would get up and get ready for the day while she glowed from being well loved and would put on a nightgown and see to their breakfasts and get the kids ready for school. After she would shower and dress while he saw to it that their backpacks were packed with what they needed and that they had their prepacked lunches. They would both see them off to the bus and then kiss and he would leave for the office. Always giving her a lingering kiss. He was a happily married man indeed to the point he felt sorry for Rude for being single and had thought to inquire if Jasmine had any aspiring model friends who were single...

This morning wasn't any different from the others until a hand settled onto his right buttock and gave it a squeeze. "Didn't I give you enough loving last night and then this morning?" He asked her with amusement in his voice. His Tifa was a passionate woman.

"Pregnancy hormones" she said with a quirky smile.

"You mean?" He said.

"I know we decided to passively try by my going off the pill. It worked, you're going to be a father" she said.

His smile lit up his whole face and he picked her up and spun her around. "I'm not going into work. We need to celebrate" he insisted.

"But your important meeting..." Tifa protested.

Reno smirked and took out his PHS phone and told her that Tseng cancelled it. He took her back to bed and made ardent love to her. Afterwards, Tifa glowed as Reno pressed kissed onto her still flat belly as she toyed with his hair. Wondering if there was going to be another redhead in their growing family. She felt blessed to have everything she finally wanted: a loving husband and family. Tifa was beyond content with her new life.

Tseng was struck dumb by what lay on his bed His phone rang and he numbly answered it, it was Reno. "It's okay. I'm cancelling the meeting. Elena's burning up. I think we'll be both stay home" he said and rang off.

Tseng looked at his wife. In the time it had taken him to shower and shave, she's handcuffed herself to their bed and wore only a red ribbon around her neck and patches of whipped cream topped her breasts and groin, complete with cherries.

Tseng got out of his bathrobe and joined her in bed, suddenly feeling ravenous.

He hadn't expected to fall for her during their stay on the island but had and had moved her into his condo upon their return.

Elena had been delighted, she knew that divorce was unheard of in Wutai and had counted on that. Tseng was a guarded man and left few close to him, including women. So, he was ripe for the picking and horny to boot. Now both were happy and she'd gotten her man and haven't had to pay a fee of thirty-nine gils-ninety-nine-gillets.

THE END


End file.
